Letter: Judging Council Candidates on Their Affiliations

By Brian Parker

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I just read one of the questions the Albany Patch is asking candidates for Council and it seems like a direct throwback to the McCarthy Era. 

Here’s my take on the field given this theme introduced to our civil discourse by the Patch.

Two Albany City Council candidates have been endorsed by the Sierra Club.  Few people know, although a few Patch readers seem to have realized, that this means they have had chips embedded in their brains that allow them to be manipulated by an evil syndicate of environmental groups including the Sierra Club, Audubon Society, Citizens for Eastshore Parks and Citizens for the Albany Shoreline. 

They will be taking directions directly from Norman La Force, who will be sitting, laughing manically in El Cerrito. 

Even fewer folks realize that three other candidates have had chips embedded in them by a group controlled by our Chamber of Commerce, Golden Gate Fields, AT&T, the UC Property Development Group, and Whole Foods. Frank Stronach will be manipulating these candidates via transmissions from cell towers. 

Finally, the last two candidates are under the direct control of a collective of Occupy the Farm, the Green Party, ARROW and the Ruckus Society. No one knows for sure how they are being manipulated, but it’s thought to be done organically.

Apparently the Manchurian Candidate was only the tip of the iceberg! Less than 40 days to go and it would be a novel idea if we all try to judge our local candidates on where they stand on the issues. We do seem to have some this election!