An Unsettling Thursday

So, when I serve my patients I really do see ‘em as family; same goes for my co-workers. 75% of our patients are women; same goes for my dental team (but for most of my career, it was more like 100%.) And I’m not the slightest bit hesitant to tell patients and team members I love them…because I do…especially when I see them as my mom or sister or aunt.

I told my mom I loved her every day of my adult life. When I’m providing care, relating to my dental team or reaching out to the community, I put women in my mom’s shoes when she was their age. I’ve probably been profiling women that way for decades and maybe that’s why my relationships rarely eclipse 6-months. But I think things could be worse.

I had my mom profiling epiphany in, of all places, Piana deglis Albanesi, Sicily. On my sunny first day on the island, the 30ish young woman behind the pizza counter could’ve been Mom’s young black and white film double from the early 1940s; she was even delivering pizza just the way my mom made it when I was a kid. My trip to Mom’s roots changed my perspective on stuff in more ways than I can begin to share. And I’ll always remember my 11 AM pizza run just outside of Palermo.

Away from my dental practice, I’ve served on various nonprofit Boards, including Haven House in Pasadena. Haven House was the first shelter for victims of domestic violence in the United States. While on the Board, I saw teen art expressing desperation and despair. I listened to heart breaking stories that were completely outside my realm of experience. We adopted families for Christmas; trying to bring some measure of joy to faces revealing the cruelest of betrayals. I learned half of my team had been victims of verbal or physical abuse.

I’m a pretty liberal guy. But when did respecting women as you would family become something liberal? I always thought decency and “…certain truths being sacred and undeniable” were essential parts of America's fabric, but even more basically, part of being human. And I thought being human was non-partisan.

Last Thursday, I saw a woman share a life jolting trauma for the world and CNN to see.

From one side of the aisle, the woman in question and the potential Supreme Court Justice were both deemed credible. Never mind the applicant for a lifetime national culture altering spot on the Supreme Court answered the bell with lies, aggression, belligerence, and lack of respect.

So, I realize the true democracy experiment remains an unfinished work. I’m just wondering if making America great again means the end of decency and certain truths remaining sacred and undeniable.

Or maybe Supreme Court job interviews and background checks just ain't what they used to be.