Dear Website Visitors: Who Are You? Why Are You Here?

We know when you are sleeping, we know when you're awake: Most of you stop by between 11 a.m. and 6 p.m. Some come at 7 a.m. and a few night owls visit in the wee hours.

What is this—some creepy snoopy thing? We already have one in the neighborhood!

Not to worry, there's an easy explanation.

Every day robots at Patch.com headquarters send me a 15-page "analytics" file with graphs and charts detailing visitor activity on this website in the last 24 hours.

Let me stop right here and say I have no idea who you are individually, unless you comment or upload a photo or something (you need an account to do that.)  The identities of people who visit this website are totally unknown to me.  Any information we collect is on an aggregate basis, not pinned to any particular person. I use this information to make the site better.

Got it?

1. I don't know who you are. (You = singular.)

2. I have an idea how you got here. (You = plural.)

Which brings me to the graphic, which started out as a piece of that 15-page PDF file, but I tweaked it enough to remove confidential information but leave some interesting tidbits.

The list shows what search terms brought you here to Brentwood Patch and which are the most popular topics.

I actually laughed out loud when I saw my mom's name there. Marion Wilen passed away Jan. 17, her 60th anniversary, the very same day I . I still miss her terribly but am consoled that she is sending me web visitors from heaven.  ♥

Freelancer has quite a following. She knows the red carpets and green rooms and reports and writes like someone who grew up in the business. People end up here when they search for her. Deidre's biggest story so far is the scoop that put for the first time. 

Uni High Alumni FTW (esoteric Brentwood Oscar cheer)!

I called on pal Harry Shearer for a comment on the one celebrity I was hoping to avoid mentioning, O.J. Simpson. I had to relent and mention the actor-turned-felon when F. Lee Bailey "blogged" about Simpson's eternal innocence. Thanks, Harry; that is still working for us. With the context provided by two great videos (F. Lee and Harry) we tell the story like no other site on the Web.

(The other celebrity I can't avoid mentioning is North of Sunset neighbor Arianna Huffington. She's and will soon be editor-in-chief of this, her hyper-local Brentwood Patch, as well as other Patch.com and AOL sites. Right now, we're trying to see if our crazy busy schedules intersect with Arianna's  long enough for an interview. More as it comes.)

University High School basketball favorite David Nwaba attracts a lot of visitors. We've been following his season and are impressed by his attitude as much as his on-court prowess. And our hat tips to coach Steve Ackerman, an inspirational leader. We're proud to follow Uni High hoops.

is a growing  search term. Belwood headed up I've seen only the outside (I parked in that little cul-de-sac Wednesday when I photographed the gas prices at the .) The parking around Brentwood Village is as bad as parking at the Country Mart and along San Vicente, but that's

Finally I got another laugh when I saw "405 bridge" on the list. Only a and it's what we call an "evergreen," a story that will attract visitors in the long term.

And all I really had to make that story zing was to dig through the bureaucratic presentation and excerpt the artist's rendering of the 405 Bridge of the Future. Actually I wrote some clever copy too.

Thanks to all who stop by the site, and thanks again, Mom. 

To our Web guests: Please tell your friends. We're on Facebook and Twitter too, and that's my actual photo up there on the left. If you see me with the Patch-stickered MacBook Pro somewhere in Brentwood 90049, say hello.

Today you missed me at Cafe Luxxe, where I had the best cafe latté I've ever had in Los Angeles in 30 years. Seriously. I Tweeted and posted on Facebook about it. See all the excitement you're missing!

Specifically, it had that European espresso taste that I last experienced on the sidewalk cafes of Paris. All that was missing was the scent of Gauloises.

Sense memory, I love you so.