Nudity Warning: OC's Bizarre Minor Crimes of 2011

As journalists, we Patch editors are naturally curious and somewhat voyeuristic. Furthermore, in a job that's fraught with sad, violent and disappointing stories, we all have to have a sense of humor.

That's why, depending on the day, reading and editing the Orange County Sheriff's Department dispatch log can be the highlight of our day.

So, we've assembled some of the stranger and more absurd blotter items from 2011. Here is a look back into the odd crime news from 2011, a year marred by so many tragedies.

San Clemente

Oct. 21: At 3:07 p.m. Wednesday, a caller reported a suspicious circumstance in the 2000 block of El Camino Real. According to the report, the informant could see a man and a woman taking nude pictures of each other. The informant was watching from the Laundry Basket automated laundry's remote camera.

Oct. 14: At 4:22 p.m. Wednesday police arrested a 62-year-old-woman in the 400 block of El Camino Real. According the report, a local transient woman well-known for screaming at passers-by was sitting on a restaurant's patio with her pants down around her ankles. She then proceeded to defecate in their fountain. She was taken into custody and has since been released.

March 29: At 10:34 p.m. Monday police received a report from a San Diego private investigator of a suspicious person on the cross streets of Calle Del Cerro and Avenida Vista Montana. The armed private investigator had detained a person who was running through traffic making obscene gestures in a panda suit. Police made no arrest.

Laguna Niguel

July 12: A police detained a minor who a caller said was putting plastic food wrap on the caller’s car. The minor’s parent arrived at the scene after being called. The incident took place on Tuesday, July 12, at 9:53 p.m. in the 24700 block of Kings Road.

Sept. 27: A woman called police to report finding a fish head on her porch. She said that after Googling what it could mean she determined that when someone leaves a fish head on your property it means you will be killed. The incident was reported on Tuesday, Sept. 27, at 2:54 p.m. from the 28700 block of Calle Vista. ()

Dec. 20: A woman called police to report that an unknown individual kept putting her yard reindeer in lewd positions. The call was fielded by authorities on Tuesday, Dec. 20, at 10:13 p.m. in the 0 block of Novilla.

San Juan Capistrano

July 11: At 10:34 a.m. Saturday, a caller reported indecent exposure near Rancho Viejo Road and the Ortega Highway. The caller was driving north on the 5 freeway and spotted a nude male in his late 40s who was watching traffic pass behind the Marbella shopping center. There was no report of an arrest.

Aug. 25: At 4:09 p.m. Monday, a caller reported a suspicious person in the 32100 block of Camino Capistrano. There was a red-haired, female transient hiding behind parked cars and talking to a tree. 

Oct. 6: At 6:44 a.m. Monday, police arrested a 51-year-old-transient-woman in the 31800 block of Del Obispo Street. The woman was inside of the Ralphs grocery store and refused to leave. The woman then proceeded to defecate and urinate in the aisles. She was taken into custody and has since been released. 

Fountain Valley

Feb. 26: A person reported vehicle tampering when unknown suspect(s) used an unknown object to break the front right passenger window of a car on Los Jardines West near Masuda Middle School, Feb. 20 at 8:10 p.m. No property was reported stolen, but before fleeing the unknown suspect(s) left a pink prescription bottle containing marijuana on the arm rest of the front right passenger door. (File this one under "Bummer, man.")

Mission Viejo

Jan. 28: A caller said that her house was pelted the night before with oranges and that she came home to find the same thing that night with grapefruit. The call came in around 11:30 p.m. on Saturday from the area of Via Viento (Someone was sending this woman a message: "You're not getting enough vitamin C.")

May 11: A resident reported seeing a man sitting on her couch, drinking from a bottle after she woke up from a nap in her home near the 24000 block of Silvestre Tuesday. The man then fled through the back door after the caller went to grab a phone. The suspicious person report was made around 8:02 p.m.

Lake Forest

April 19: A caller reported that six men in their early 20s who were chasing a handcuffed man in his underwear placed the man in the trunk of a car upon catching him. The call was made around 10:40 p.m. Saturday at the intesection of Portola Parkway and Alton Parkway. (This is either extremely upsetting, or it has something to do with a fraternity.)

June 24: A swarm of more than 5,000 bees was reported Tuesday in the 22400 block of Rio Aliso Drive. No word on how the caller calculated the number of bees, or whether the insects were fleeing Aliso Viejo, which is considering a ban on backyard beekeeping. The call came in at 6:51 p.m.

June 18: A potentially deadly investigation turned revolting when a bomb squad team tracked down a man threatening to use anthrax and instead found a pair of his soiled jeans. The 55-year-old man allegedly threatened an employee at the Chase Bank on El Toro Road with anthrax Saturday morning. (; it’s not often you can get “poop” in a headline.)

Rancho Santa Margarita

Sept. 16: A resident of Rancho Santa Margarita heard someone yelling incoherently and assumed the noise was coming from the park near his apartment. Instead, the resident discovered a nude man was laying on his front porch, yelling. It only got worse, because the resident called authorities 10 minutes later to tell them the naked man was now pounding on the front door of the apartment. Deputies arrived and found the man sleeping in the nude in the bushes outside the apartment. They called the Orange County Fire Authority because they were concerned the man may have taken an overdose of narcotics. The call came in around 11:45 p.m. from Paseo Brezo.

(The Sept. 16 RSM blotter was a doozy— to learn why you shouldn’t ride a desk chair tied to the back of a dirt bike.)

Sept. 28: Three calls came in to the Orange County Sheriff’s Department regarding a man in his 50s who put on a public display that was worthy of a heavyweight fighting championship. The first caller saw the man on the corner of Antonio Parkway and Oso Parkway, shadow-boxing while removing his shirt. Over an hour later, the second caller saw him urinating in a bush. He then walked down Antonio Parkway—with his pants down. The third caller reported seeing him nearly two hours later, sleeping in a grassy area. The woman was concerned about the man’s health and hoped someone would assist him.

Aliso Viejo

March 8: A caller said a naked man riding in a silver Toyota Corolla kept on turning on the dome light as he drove up and down the street. The call was made around 10:40 p.m. Saturday at the intersection of Hollyoak and Alicia Parkway. (I wonder if this is the same naked man who was yelling on the porch in Rancho? Feces and naked men seem to be a theme here.)

Dec. 16: A caller reported a man in his 30s near Pacific Park Drive and Aliso Niguel that was masturbating as he drove around in a blue sedan, staring at women. The indecent exposure call was made around 2:44 p.m. Wednesday. (And they say texting while driving is distracting.)

Seal Beach-Los Alamitos

July 29: Last week in Los Alamitos, a milk delivery driver was threatened by a man with a rifle, who charged and hit the truck, telling the driver that he was “protecting his neighborhood.” The suspect, a 50-year-old male, was arrested on suspicion of brandishing an imitation firearm and stating criminal threats. (File this under EXTREME lactose intolerance.)

August 16: This week a call came into the Seal Beach Police Department that a 30-year-old man was seen defecating on the Seal Beach Pier at 1:03 a.m., and according to Sergeant Steve Bowles of the Seal Beach Police Department, the man was drunk and proceeded to jump off the pier and swim to shore. The man was ultimately arrested on suspicion of public intoxication.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Laguna Beach is known as home to its share of cranks and eccentrics. Rich Kane, the editor there, has put up a full, Laguna Beach-specific collection of bizarre behavior recorded over 2011 in his CSI: Laguna Beach weekly blotter. .