Schuller's Wife Issues New Demands

She might be small, but Arvella Schuller has the appetite of Godzilla.

How else to explain the email sent by her husband's church this week, asking congregation members to ship her food as she recovers from pneumonia?

"They would appreciate meals over the next three to four weeks," the email said, referring to Arvella and the Rev. Robert "Crystal Cathedral" Schuller. The food should be dropped off at the church "in order to be transported to Arvella. The limo drivers could pick up the dinners."

According to the Orange County Register, the email specified that the meals be "low in sodium and include items such as fruit, meats, soup and egg dishes such as quiches."

Church officials originally considered letting congregation members send get-well cards, but decided it would be easier to keep her condition "under the radar" by requesting carloads of food instead.

Now, Patch has learned of a second email. In addition to low-sodium dinners, church officials say Mrs. Schuller would appreciate the following items:

• diamond jewelry
• original Picassos or Van Goghs
• a major league baseball team, preferably based in Los Angeles
• large appliances
• Justin Bieber's cell phone number

Obviously, this is an incomplete list. Tell us in the comments what other items you think are essential to Mrs. Schuller's recovery.