'Celeb' Judge Considers Catchphrase Options

When organizers asked me to be a "celebrity" judge — their words, not mine — for the this Friday, I must admit, I don’t think they knew what they were in for.

I'm a newbie to all of this. What do I know about critiquing people's talents?

To make matters worse, I’ve missed out on years of pop-culture education. For example, I've known for years that shows like American Idol, Project Runway, Dancing With the Stars and America’s Got Talent at least existed, but I haven’t exactly kept up. (I spent the past 10 years without a television; that's another story.) But, hey, I pretty much got the gist after Kelly Clarkson won American Idol in season 1. 

I figured it might be a good idea to school up on real celebrity judges in preparation for my upcoming responsibilities. I've got 10 acts to score, after all.

Time out: Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul are no longer on American Idol? What?! J-Lo and Steven Tyler?!? Really? When did this happen?!?

OK, back in.

I'll be judging alongside some real pros — sports personality Dick Crippen, known for his work with the Tampa Bay Rays, and animal advocate Rick Chaboudy, founder of Suncoast Animal League — so I'm only a little nervous. OK ... A LOT nervous. I hope no one is judging the judges.

To prepare, I researched some catchphrases that TV judges are using these days. You'll see that I've developed some possible modifications to a few of them.

• "You're IN or you're OUT," Heidi Klum, Project Runway
• "Pitchy," Randy Jackson, American Idol (Maybe I'll modify this one to "Patchy.")
• "Dawg," Randy Jackson, American Idol (Maybe I can work in a Dunedin Dawgie Rescue reference of some kind. Hmm ... needs work.)
• "Make it work!" Tim Gunn, Project Runway
• "Auf Wiedersehen," Heidi Klum, Project Runway
• "You are possibly the worst singer I've ever heard," Simon Cowell, American Idol (maybe I won't use this one)

Want to go?

• What: Ten acts compete in the sixth annual Senior Talent show, to be judged American Idol style.
• When: 7 p.m. Friday (doors open at 6:15 p.m.)
• Where: , Edinburgh Hall
• Tickets: $5 each, or $4 for groups of 10 or more (can be purchased in advance at the Dunedin Community Center or )