10 Things I Learned on Pintrest

1. I don’t have the same range of emotions as most women on Pintrest. I do not have the depth to understand half of the quotes with great fonts written over sunset beaches. I don’t yearn for those lost. I don’t suppose I yearn for anything. I have pretty much three emotions: happy, sad and mad. I also apparently don’t believe in myself enough or have enough “real” friends. Sorry to all my make believe friends reading this.
2. Unless you’re a kindergarten teacher, I do not think melted crayons glued to a canvas counts as “art.” Yea, I said it.
3. “Wash your hands and say your prayers because Jesus and germs are everywhere,” is without a doubt, the funniest saying I’ve ever heard.
5. I find the idea of bringing wood pallets into your home absolutely appalling. Do y’all know what all grows in those? Do you know the kinds of toxins, pesticides, bugs and germs live on them? Google it before you make a pallet table or whatever.
6. I think the idea of crocheting breasts and uteruses for cancer patients is ridiculous. I cannot imagine the struggle with cancer, and I’m truly sorry for you. If you want me to pray for you, I will. But I had my appendix, tonsils and wisdom teeth taken out and you don’t see me knitting a set of those.
7. I am far less dexterous than the rest of the female population. They’re making ombre nails, nail designs, nail stickers, palm trees, plaid and a million other designs. I’m lucky if I get the polish in the general vicinity of my fingers.
8. Whoever writes the sayings behind those black sketches with pink, blue and yellow backgrounds is a genius. “I only work out because I know I’d be the first one to die in the Hunger Games.” “I’m thinking about hosting a support group for OCD people at my home. Not because I have it, but because one of them will be bothered enough to clean my house.”
9. Many people have far, far too much free time.
10.   There are a ton of people who are going to take a photo of Victoria Beckham into the hairstylist this Spring and come out with a hairstyle they hate. Don’t do it, readers! I did. You will hate this hairstyle. You will despise it. Don’t do it.

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