Hinsdale Kids Get an Etiquette Lesson from Bette Shieber

The holidays are infamous for fancy parties and dressy dinners, and, if your child attended Bette Schieber’s holiday etiquette class Nov. 20, they’ll fit right in with the adults at the table.

Shieber is an etiquette coach and consultant, the Chicago Tribune reported, who taught two special classes at the Community House in Hinsdale that focused on holiday manners for children. One two-hour class was for kids ages 8-12, and younger 5-to-7-year-olds took part in a shorter session.

“You want to make a better impression (during the holidays),” Schieber told the Tribune, because social gatherings tend to be more elaborate.

Among the subject Schieber covers are table manners, how to write a thank-you note and the art of conversation.

“I tell them adults like to have a conversation,” she said. “I use the analogy of playing catch. If you throw the ball to someone and they take the ball and do nothing with it, then you can’t play catch. Conversation should be back and forth like that, requiring two people to cooperate, not just with the talking, but with the listening.”

Since most of the kids attending her class didn’t know each other, they were able to pair for conversation practices, which included topics like sports, school and their favorite movies.

In the table manners portion of the class, Schieber taught the older kids how to properly receive and eat pound cake. The younger ones practiced with juice and a cookie. Schieber said she realizes it’s not easy for children to learn these skills — especially for “the poor child who gets their pound cake first and has to wait for everybody else.”

Schieber said the children were responsive to the class and that they “really do get it,” but some things have certainly changed since etiquette classes made their debut.

Sometimes kids will ask her during the thank-you writing section of her class if sending someone a text message would suffice as an equally appreciated note, she said.

“In a few circumstances, that is probably okay,” she said. “But I tell them to think about the time it took someone to shop for a gift and a card, to wrap it and give it to you. A text does not match the effort put into the gift.”

Schieber teaches etiquette classes year-round.

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