The stream of tough topics for parents to explain to their children often feels endless: social unrest, the pandemic, natural disasters. Many children and teens struggle to process what they see at school, in their neighborhoods and on the news.
The Vitiritto family of West Des Moines, Iowa, tackles this challenge every Thursday right after dinner.
“I look forward to it,” said Ava, 11, of this weekly family discussion hour. “If I have questions, I always know when I can ask them, and we can talk.”
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That family time was invaluable for Ava and her sister, Gianna, 15, during a period of civil unrest in Des Moines in 2020. “It was important to talk to the girls about why it is important to listen to authorities,” Libby Vitiritto said of how she and her husband, Ryan Vitiritto, responded to their girls. “It was a crazy time.”
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Gianna found comfort in being able to talk with her parents. “Being in school where kids were just bringing things up, it felt there was nowhere to go to escape and to find something hopeful instead of fear,” she said. “Our family time was not only like an escape, but it was a place where we knew we were safe.”
In an ever-changing and challenging world, experts recommend regular family discussions to help young ones build resilience.
“Good communication is essential for a child’s survival in this world,” said James Wright, a California-based family counselor and conflict resolution mediator. “Why not have a family discussion once a week and talk about what’s going on in your lives?”
The Vitirittos are not alone in holding to a set time to have family discussions. For nearly two decades, families of Jehovah’s Witnesses like theirs around the world have been encouraged to make “family worship” an uninterrupted weekly routine.
“For many of our families, their weekly discussions are among the most important hours of the week,” said Robert Hendriks, U.S. spokesman for Jehovah’s Witnesses. “It has brought thousands of our families closer together and helped children feel safe and loved.”
In hurricane-pummeled New Orleans, the Andrades address safety concerns with their two sons during their regular family worship night.
“On one of our family nights, we were able to put our emergency go bags together and practice what we would do if we were to get separated during a natural disaster,” said mom Ashley Andrade, who safely evacuated with her family before Hurricane Ida uprooted trees and downed power lines on their street.
Her family strengthened this routine in 2009 when Jehovah’s Witnesses reduced their midweek meetings from two to one, freeing up an evening each week for families to enjoy such time together.
“Meeting in large groups for worship is a Bible command, but the Bible also tells parents to make time to talk with their kids,” Hendriks said. “The change to our weekly meetings helped families to prioritize unhurried Bible discussions tailored to their needs.”
The Vitirittos’ weekly discussions provide Gianna and Ava with a way to cope with anxiety too. “I think about how common teenage depression is, especially with everything that’s going on in the world,” Gianna said.
Ryan and Libby often turn to the free resources found on jw.org, the official website of Jehovah’s Witnesses, to give them ideas for their family discussions.
The publication “Young People Ask” offered a suggestion Gianna put into practice. “It really helped me,” she said of listing three good things that happened each day. “And then the whiteboard animation ‘From Sad to Glad,’ that’s a good one too.”
Their family time gives Ava a place to be understood, “I know I can talk about things that worry me that I can’t talk about with other people,” she said. “I always feel like I can let out my feelings, and I don’t have to keep anything inside.”
As a result, the family has grown closer. “I feel like I’m in tune with the girls,” Ryan said. “It helps keep a better pulse on the whole family dynamic.”
Family nights have forged something special for Ava and Gianna too. “We’re just lucky to have parents who really love us,” Ava said.