Community Corner

Mom, What Do You REALLY Want for Mother's Day?

It's one of those questions that should be asked but never is: if you're a mom, what do you really want for Mother's Day?

I've been a mom for the better part of six years now but I am not a fan of Mother's Day.

I know, I should grateful there's a day celebrating all that's good and wholesome about being a mom but I'm not.

I think it has something to do with the fact that everyone assumes Mother's Day is about celebrating the relationship with your kids. It's not.

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I figured this out the first Mother's Day after I gave birth to twins. All I wanted to do that day was be alone - no crying babies to interrupt my thoughts, no one to barge in on me in the bathroom, no one to prevent me from eating a meal while it was still hot. I didn't think that was too much to ask.

Mom, in all truthfulness, what do you really want for Mother's Day this year? Tell us in the comments.

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But that day, as I sat in a squishy chair at my neighborhood Barnes & Noble, sipping my coffee and reading a book (which I hadn't been able to do successfully in more than two years), I was approached by an older woman asking if the chair next to me was occupied. We started chit-chatting about the weather, the book I was reading, what I was drinking, etc. and then she asked if I had children.

"Yes, three of them, all under the age of 2," I said proudly, and clearly sleep-deprived.

"Oh, my. You have your hands full," she said. "Where are they now?"

I explained that it was my day off and that all I really wanted was some time to myself. She looked at me with this look that suggested she didn't approve of my decision to step away from life, if only for a few hours.

I felt bad. I questioned whether what I was doing that day meant that I was abandoning my family. "Maybe I should have just stayed home and spent time with the kids?" I thought.

This weekend, four years after that first Mother's Day as a mom of three, I realize that I want exactly the same thing this year that I wanted then - time.

As mothers, we give so much of ourselves to our families. Our priorities change in the biggest way when we have children. No longer are we number 1, or even number 2 on the list. No, now we're often the last to eat, shower, go to the doctor when we're sick, get a new pair of shoes. We often delay haircuts, new clothes and nights out because someone else comes first. That's just the way it is.

This Mother's Day, I don't want flowers or candy. I don't need a new toaster or dishes. I just want time to be me again. I want to eat lunch without being asked for more ketchup or juice instead of milk. I want someone to give me a pedicure without expecting that I will paint their toes too. I want to sit and laugh and gossip with my girlfriends on a patio somewhere while someone else pours the drinks. That's all I want.  

So for all you moms out there, in all truthfulness, what do you really want for Mother's Day this year? Tell us in the comments.

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