The Power of Empathy

The historicity of a saint named Valentine is murky at best; however, the emotion of love has turned Valentine’s Day into a billion-dollar industry. Love transcends all cultures or any idiosyncratic beliefs. Despite the hatred brewing amongst us, whether it be related to race, religion, gender identity, sexual orientation, or socio-economic disparity, Valentine’s Day seems to be a pacifying force. What this reveals is that we are not just slaves of the oldest part of the brain, that is the limbic system, which regulates primal instincts that tend to get triggered by any perceived threat, but that we have the capacity to channel our mind in a direction that increases our tolerance for each other.

We all have heard the saying that “love is blind.” Apparently, this is not just a metaphor; there is a neural basis for it. The positive feeling, that is, love, shuts down the neural pathway responsible for making critical assessments of other people, including assessments of those with whom we are romantically involved. We have a physiological response when we fall in love. The process of falling in love entails chemicals associated with the reward circuit of our brain, producing a range of physical and emotional responses-palpitations, flushed cheeks, sweaty palms, feelings of passion, etc.

Losing someone you love results not only in emotional but also physical pain. Brain imaging indicates that rejection and emotional pain activate the same areas as physical pain, including the anterior cingulate cortex.

Love implies having a deep affection for someone. It is enigmatic and can be expressed in various ways. This Valentine’s Day, I delve deeper into the emotion of love, specifically platonic love. This often relates to the expression of love for our closest friends. Compared to romantic clove, platonic love is devoid of sex or romance; however, it encapsulates emotions of a similar intensity and magnitude when it comes to commitment and care.

One of my close friends from medical school, Ashish, who I fondly call Trivedi, recently lost his teenage son to dengue fever, a mosquito-borne viral infection. His son was a genius, whose intellect had been recognized early on by preparatory centers focusing on admission to medical schools. I met Trivedi about a year before his son’s passing at our cradle, that is King George’s Medical College, and vividly recall the glitter in his eyes when he spoke about his beloved son.

I think about Trivedi this Valentine’s Day. Although I am several thousand miles away from him, I can still feel the pain he is going through in my heart and mind. Such an empathetic feeling makes me appreciate the essential ingredients of an everlasting bond- trust, respect, and understanding. As someone rightly said, “Platonic bond ignite when souls find kinship, exclaiming, “I’m not alone in this feeling!”
Shobhit Negi, MD
Board certified child and adolescent, adult and forensic psychiatrist
Baltimore, Maryland