Community Corner

Make a Valentine Happy with Languages of Love

Bestseller translates love for the tone deaf—many of us.

Gary Chapman's bestselling book The 5 Love Languages could be good reading to brighten a Valentine's day.

The author says he has "the secret to love that lasts."

The secret Chapman suggests is identifying which of five styles of expression our partners prefer, and using it to reap dividends in the relationship.

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After 30 years of marriage counseling, Chapman said he can downsize the love languages to five.

  • Words of affirmation
  • Quality time
  • Receiving gifts
  • Acts of service
  • Physical touch

"Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English," Chapman writes.

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So translating your primary love language into your partner's primary love language sounds like a good Valentine's Day gift.

Examples abound in the book, like a husband doing "acts of service" for them both, but the wife speaks the language of "quality time." So while one partner thinks his expressions of love as "service" are ignored, the other thinks her partner ignored her overtures by keeping busy to avoid "quality time" together.

There are exercises at the ends of the chapters based on the reading. It's an easy, self-help read.

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