Happy Flights and Rally Squirrels Propel Cardinals into 2011 World Series

The National League Championship Series has just finished up, and congratulations to our Cardinals and good luck.

Still, some mysteries of the universe remain. There are questions that need some answers. These are the typical ones.

Why do the games start at 7 p.m. and 8 p.m?

Sunday’s seven o’clock game concluded some three hours and 45 minutes later at 10:45 p.m. Now the children at Community School, Reed, Conway, Beasley and Oak Hill would like to watch, too. Think parents will let their little adoring FredBird fans stay up until 11 p.m. on a school night to watch a ballgame? Maybe the championship games ought to start a little earlier to accommodate the rest of the world.

Why do World Series tickets costs so much, and why is parking jacked up to $30 a spot?

Gouging?

I never attend sporting events where a bank loan is required for payment. A family of four (you’ve heard that before) can attend a World Series game for just a grand, as in a thousand dollars. At least the family will probably get a Build-A-Bear or Rally Squirrel for one all-inclusive price.

Why not price the tickets so the die-hard fans might attend? You know what happens? You get fans who cheer on the strikes and remain silent on the home runs. The newly minted fans hardly know what’s going on. True fans are stuck watching at home or at bars.

Why did all the players grow beards this year?

I suppose now they think they are in the Stanley Cup finals? Wrong sport.

Why do the teams celebrate after each round? Isn’t the beer spraying display getting a bit passé?

I understand at midnight, the Cardinals were still in the locker room and had made no movement for their Happy Flight home. I’d be anxious to get home, get some rest and be ready for Wednesday’s opener with the Texas Rangers. 

At least I’m grateful Mizzou students didn’t tear down the goal posts at homecoming after chopping up hapless Iowa State. They couldn’t: They were already down at Harpo’s celebrating the homecoming victory.

Why did Macy’s and Dillard's print up all those NLCS championship tee shirts, pullovers and ball caps?

Didn’t anyone tell them everyone will want World Series memoriabilia, not just overpriced stuff stamped with the playoff series logo?

Why does Tony La Russa give TV interviews between innings?

I’ve been told money talks.

And where exactly is Cardinal Nation located?

I googled it on Wikipedia, but nothing came up. Is it located somewhere between Germany and Uganda?

Seriously speaking, good luck to our Cardinals. I’m certain there will be more interest for the Birds at Busch Stadium than the turn-of-the-century Perfecto’s got on the lawn at the Gateway Arch.

At least the Cardinals winning the whole deal is more probable than some guy named Herman Cain espousing spending 9 percent on taxes on everything new we eat or drink and becoming president of the United States.

And good luck to the Texas Rangers. The Cards had this one all the way. Case closed since they were 10.5 games out the end of August.

Thank heavens for Happy Planes and Rally Squirrels.