Ready, Set, Go, Panic

Ready, set go, join the St. Louis crowd in the latest sport. Getting ready for the first heavy snow fall of the season.

Here’s an abridged readers guide of what to do: Call a travel agent. Book a flight, anywhere warm, preferably Cozumel, The British Virgin Islands, anywhere nice and hot.

• Rush over to Schnuck’s and see the crazies in action. Watch the bread fly off the shelf.

• Grab a cart and join in on the action. Stock up on all the staples like Johnny Walker Red Label; drum sticks, Cheese-it snack crackers; Cognac and some razor blades.

• Head to the local hardware store and get an ice scrapper, a snow shovel and a big bag of salt.

• Stop by Jillies in U. City or Des Peres for some delicious cupcakes.

• Call school to get your kids out early. After all, there’s at least a half inch of the white stuff on the ground. Listen to them bicker about having to leave the class room early.

• Cook enough items to last at least a week. Remember, MoDOT is out plowing the highways and byways, so it might be weeks before roads are clear again.

• Curse yourself for having washed your car yesterday. Oh that’s alright. Yesterday’s road salt is replaced by some fresh new road salt.

• Call your relatives in Florida and brag about how wonderful Missouri is with the change of seasons.

• Make sure your camera is at the ready to take snow shots to send to grandma in Miami.

I don’t know about you, but the St. Louis snow panic is hilarious. People are in the throes of panic over a half inch of the white stuff.

Drivers are terrible in the rain and the snow. If you get behind other cars, expect to go about six miles per hour. I call it the St. Louis creep.

So ready, set go. Get out there, tackle the first real snow storm of 2012. Be ready to watch Cindy Preszler and all those weather pundits get it wrong for the umpteenth time. The whole thing can be a real sight for sore eyes.