Schools

Middlesex School Admin. Blasted For Sending Pic Of Maskless Kids

When a Middlesex mom asked the district to reopen, she got back a photo of her kids without masks and was told to take COVID more seriously.

MIDDLESEX, NJ — Middlesex parents and some elected officials say they are furious after a school official responded to one mom's plea to reopen schools by sending a photo of her own children not wearing a mask.

The borough mom emailed the assistant school superintendent last week asking when schools will reopen. He replied by sending her a photo pulled from Facebook of her own children out sledding with friends while not wearing masks.

He also told her she is not taking the coronavirus pandemic seriously, and that is why schools must remain virtual.

Find out what's happening in Middlesexfor free with the latest updates from Patch.

The parents say it is an invasion of privacy to see a school official circulating photos of minor children, and even Middlesex Mayor John Madden called it "unacceptable and unprofessional."

The mother, who did not want to be named due to privacy and retaliation concerns, first sent an email to assistant Middlesex schools superintendent Paul Rafalowski last Thursday, asking when schools could reopen or at least go hybrid. (Middlesex schools have been all virtual since the start of the school year.)

Find out what's happening in Middlesexfor free with the latest updates from Patch.

In response, Rafalowski sent her an email back that same day, saying that town residents were not taking the COVID outbreak seriously. To prove his point, he attached two photos: The first showed her children sledding with a group of other kids in the recent snowfall. The second photo showed the parent herself, smiling with fellow moms. None of the children or mothers were wearing masks.

"He targeted an outspoken parent by sending her photos of her and kids outside while sledding during the snow storm," said the mom.

"My breath was taken away. I hope a parent never has to feel how I felt," said Middlesex borough dad Roger Sanchez, upon seeing his son as one of the sixteen kids pictured in the photo. "The kids were running around, out playing in the snow outdoors. They posed for a photo. The point is a government body should never be allowed to document the lives of private citizens and their children."

In his email to the mother, Rafalowski said the photos were "provided" to him. He said they were sent to district administrators after a parent posted them to Facebook.

"Our school community continues to be concerned with the community's response to the seriousness of this pandemic," Rafalowski wrote in his email, which was posted online. "Case in point, we were provided a number of photos that illustrate the precise reason our school community remains in Phase 1 (virtual). As you can see from the attached photos, you and four other adults appear in close proximity without a mask. The second photo illustrates 16 children all in close proximity without masks."

When contacted by Patch to explain, Rafalowski said all communication about the matter would be handled by the district's superintendent, Fred Williams. Williams referred us to comments he made to NJ.com, where he defended Rafalowski and said his assistant superintendent deliberately blurred the kids’ faces before sending his email.

“This (email) was about, ‘Let’s wear face coverings. Let’s reduce the spread,’” Williams told NJ.com. “None of my administrators target children or retaliate.”

Middlesex parents say they are appalled to see the assistant superintendent circulating private photos of minors.

"My children were in the photo. My wife and I are very upset over this matter," parent Robby McQuone told Patch. "The school board was very unprofessional and out of line sending pictures of our kids to another parent."

According to Sanchez, all the parents of the children photographed in that picture have been publicly speaking at Middlesex Board of Ed. meetings for weeks, begging the district to reopen or at least move to hybrid.

Sanchez said he views what the assistant superintendent did as a threat.

"This is how Dr. Williams and Rafalowski deal with a very vocal group of parents. They deal with them by sending them threatening photos of their kids," he said. "Parents have been testifying, saying 'my children are punching a wall; my son can't read.' Parents are literally crying."

"All we're doing is looking for help for our children. And this is his response. He even referenced the album the Facebook photos were taken from," said Sanchez. "Almost is if to say 'Shut up. We are watching you.'"

Middlesex borough Councilman Jeremiah Carnes said he wants both Rafalowski and the superintendent to either publicly apologize for the email or resign immediately. Many Middlesex Council people agreed with him.

"It's just plain inexcusable how I've seen our residents treated by some members of the Board of Ed.," Carnes told Patch. “Our children should be back in school and have the ability to freely play outside without judgement.”

“The pictures that were sent around were very inappropriate,” Middlesex Mayor Madden told NJ.com. “I find it very unacceptable and very unprofessional.”

Carnes said it is not just about that email. It is also the overall way the elected members of the Middlesex Board of Education treat parents who have been begging them to reopen schools. He cited an overall condescending attitude towards residents when it comes to school reopening.

Sanchez agreed, saying that parents are often told they cannot speak during Middlesex BOE meetings, or their mics are turned off.

"Speaking as a parent, I'm just very disappointed with how they treat their residents. It's how they talk to people. They have this 'I don't give a crap' type of attitude," Carnes said. "And they are supposed to be the ones leading us through this hard time."

Carnes himself has three children. His oldest goes to a hybrid school in another district — "She's been fine, no issues" — but his six-year-old daughter has been all virtual since kindergarten of last year. She's now in first grade.

"It's my daughter's mental health: She's been acting out, crying, frustrated," he said. "Her behavior is not her normal self. And she gets distracted by toys; she doesn't watch the screen or follow what is happening. How can she? She's six. And I have a one-and-a-half-year old to watch, so I can't always help her. Her entire first grade has been virtual."

Middlesex schools briefly attempted to go hybrid for a few weeks, but quickly reverted back to all-virtual learning. Many parents have been petitioning the district to reopen, and a Facebook group Open Middlesex Schools! has formed.

"You can hear the pain of these parents in BOE meetings," continued Carnes. "It's gotten so bad they've reached out to the Council. These are grown, extremely well-educated adults with very good jobs crying out of frustration that their children are suffering by not being back in school. And it's not one or two people. It's 30 or 40 people who have called me. We're surrounded by school districts that have all reopened with no problems."

Many parents publicly spoke about Rafalowski's email and voiced their anger at this past Tuesday night's Middlesex Council meeting, said Carnes.

Carnes said it was only after that meeting, and after the NJ.com article exposed Rafalowski's email, that Middlesex schools announced Wednesday they will be moving to a hybrid model starting Feb. 22.

Be the first to know what's happening in your town and area. Sign up to get Patch emails and don't miss a minute of local and state news: https://patch.com/subscribe

Get more local news delivered straight to your inbox. Sign up for free Patch newsletters and alerts.

More from Middlesex