Red Bank Councilman Tells Teens "It Gets Better"

It was a strange feeling, he said, when he told a group of teenagers at a coffee house late in 2010 that he was the borough’s first openly gay councilman. It certainly wasn’t what he had expected, but as the crowd began to applaud, applaud him simply for being strong enough to be open about his sexuality, Ed Zipprich knew that things were starting to change.

Zipprich recently shared his experiences via a video on YouTube with the It Gets Better Project, an initiative aimed at reaching children and teens in the LGBT community and letting them know, directly from those who know what being different really means, that yes, things do get better.

The reaction Zipprich received that night made him aware that this generation of children has the opportunity, and maybe more importantly, and the desire, to do what’s right by eliminating bullying and harassment of children based on their sexual orientation.

“When you think about how difficult it is growing up as a teen in America anyway,” Zipprich said, before pausing for a moment to collect his thoughts. “If I can help just one kid who may be struggling, that’s a huge deal.”

For the first 36 years of his life, Zipprich said he couldn’t explain it. He just knew something was different. Growing up and attending Catholic school, Zipprich said he wasn’t into the things his classmates were. They were into sports and athletic competition, he wasn’t. They were into chasing girls, and though he didn’t realize he was gay or better perhaps didn’t know exactly what being gay meant at the time, he wasn’t into that either.

But, as life went on, Zipprich stifled those feelings. He grew up, got a job in New York City, got a girl, got married, had a daughter, got a divorce, entered into another long-term relationship with a woman – this one lasting eight years – until one day he decided that he was done pretending.

“I lived by life for everyone else,” he said. “It was a bold step when I took it in my mid-30’s. I was willing to risk a lot of things.”

Now 50, Zipprich has made reaching out to teens one of his goals. When he decided to come out he was nervous, he didn’t know what to expect. But what he found was support. Support from friends and from family. Those moments leading up to it, however, were antagonizing, he said. No one knows what to expect, no one knows what reaction they’ll get, he said.

“It’s an ordeal, definitely. Here you’ve kind of packaged yourself as this kind of person,” he said. “When you finally decide you have to open up, once you get over that hurdle – I’m not going to say it wasn’t difficult – but that’s when the relief comes, that’s when the investment I made in my friends really came in.”

Zippriched moved with his partner JP to Red Bank about 15 years ago. Early on he knew he wanted to start getting involved and giving back. When he ran for the council a first time in 2007, he lost by just 53 votes, he said. Looking back on it, he said he does believe his being openly gay contributed to his defeat.

Undeterred, he ran again in 2008 and was elected to his first three-year term as a borough councilman.

While Zipprich has spent most of this winter concerning himself with all of the snow that’s fallen – he’s overseeing the Department of Public Works – he’s still looking to spread awareness of LGBT issues, especially when it comes to teens.

A lack of support it what often leads to feelings of depression, and, in some cases, even thoughts and attempts at suicide. Part of It Gets Better, part of what Zipprich has promoted, is the reality that you’re not alone. There is a community that supports and embraces you, he said, and you don’t have to go it alone.

“What I recommend to them is that they be honest with themselves,” he said.