Grieving NJ Family Helped By CNN Hero Of 2019

SOUTH ORANGE, NJ — Casey Holstein and his family might be in a very different place if not for Mary Robinson.

Holstein's wife, Robin died of breast cancer in 2007. The loss was devastating for him and their daughters, Charli and Lia. Charli was 11 when her mother died, and Lia was 9.

To help him and his daughters cope with the loss, Holstein went to Good Grief, a counseling center in Summit Mary Robinson founded in 2003.

"It was instrumental in carving a path of survival for my family," Holstein said. "When tragedies like this occur, people often feel they are the only ones who are going through it. It afforded us the chance to see that we were not the only ones going through what we went through."

Robinson founded Imagine, A Center for Coping with Loss in Mountainside in 2011. Recently, Robinson was named a CNN Hero of the Year, one of just 10 people to receive the annual honor. Robinson and the nine other nominees will be featured on "CNN Heroes: An All-Star Tribute" Dec. 8 at 8 p.m. on CNN.

"Loss is a part of life, but nobody teaches us what do you do when you have all these feelings," Robinson told CNN. "My goal is to help kids develop coping tools and creative supportive communities that can support anybody who is grieving."

At Imagine, Robinson helps children to express their emotions in healthy ways in the "Volcano Room," a place where they are free to scream, punch pillows, and rip books.

Holstein and his daughters went to Robinson's first counseling center, Good Grief, for three years.

"The kids were angry because they felt ripped off that they had lost their mom," Holstein said. "The group helped us build the skills to get through it all, and gave us a network of families going through the same thing.

"The kids could see others living the same nightmare and Mary brought peace and calm to a turbulent, emotional time," Holstein said.

Holstein, Charli, and Lia spoke about their loss on a 2010 Sesame Workshop special "When Families Grieve."

The experience of being helped the way he was made Holstein want to pay it forward. Holstein changed careers from helping lawyers process lawsuits to founding SYNERGY HomeCare of Metro NJ 18 months after his wife died. The caregiver service helps the elderly live comfortably as they get older.

"Mary's support group gave me the ability to truly listen and have compassion for people grieving the loss of a loved one," Holstein said. "Whether it's a senior whose spouse is sick or dying or drifting away in dementia, I understand the pain."

Holstein's children are thriving too. Charli is a junior at Tulane University studying international development and public health. Lia is a freshman at the University of Wisconsin studying communications.

"They are well-adjusted kids, and I think had we not gone down this road, they would have been self-destructive and angry," Holstein said, "and angry people do stupid things."

Related: South Orange Family Featured in Primetime Sesame Workshop Special

Email: daniel.hubbard@patch.com