Caring for the Caregiver

Caring for a loved one, whether a family member, friend, or neighbor, is becoming increasingly common as the Baby Boomer generation continues to age. According to the 2025 Caregiving in the U.S. report by AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving, 59 million Americans provide care for an adult friend or family member who is ill. While the typical family caregiver is a 51-year-old woman, there are an increasing number of men and younger people serving in this role.

The responsibilities of family members or friends who find themselves in this situation do not end with caregiving; many also hold some type of employment. Caregiver obligations can place demands on their schedule and emotions, causing significant stress both in and outside of the workplace. For this reason, those in this position must be sure to take care of themselves to protect their own health and well-being in all aspects of their lives.

Caregivers must understand that taking care of themselves is just as important as caring for a loved one. While there are a number of rewards to providing care for another person, there are also potential risks to the caregiver’s health.

Signs of caregiver stress may build up slowly and might not be immediately noticeable. Coworkers, friends, or loved ones may detect mood changes, impatience with colleagues or clients, and a lack of joy in workplace or social activities. Anxiety, irritability, and exhaustion are also common signs.

Stress can contribute to lost wages and negative health effects for the caregiver without the proper tools and coping strategies. Some simple steps can be taken to prevent or minimize the effects of stress. Seeking help is paramount—very few people can handle the financial, physical, emotional, and logistical burdens alone. Take turns with a family member. Pay attention to your own limitations and know when to ask others for assistance.

According to the Family Caregiver Alliance, it is not unusual for caregivers to develop mild or more serious depression as a result of the constant demands they face in providing care. Be sure to know what the signs of depression are (including a notable increase or decrease in appetite, fatigue, a change in sleep patterns, and a loss of interest in people or activities that once pleased you) and seek help through individual counseling or a community-based support group.

To avoid any misunderstandings with their loved ones’ medical team, caregivers must take the time to communicate with them. Ask questions of the doctors, nurses, and social workers, and understand when and where the professionals must step in.

Personal time is essential for those managing employment while caring for a loved one. They should be encouraged by those around them to explore options for using personal time for both caregiving and self-care. They may need reassurance that taking time off—even for half a day or just a few hours—will not adversely impact the company or their job.

Perhaps most importantly, caregivers should not forego enjoyable activities. Spend time with friends. Gardening, reading, painting, exercise, and meditation can help alleviate the stresses of caregiving. They must spend enough time on themselves while caring for a loved one.

Being a caregiver can be very rewarding, but it is also a balancing act. Caregivers must be aware of their own health and well-being as much as they are of their loved ones.

For more information, visit www.hospiceofwestchester.org.

Written by Mary K. Spengler, RN, MS, LNHA
CEO of Hospice of Westchester