Man Calls 911 Over Beer Argument, Ten Commandments Stolen, Dog Murdered: Best of the Blotter

By Amanda Harnocz

Here are this week's most bizarre police calls, reports and charges. All information was provided by police reports from departments in Patch communities. Where arrests or charges are mentioned, it does not indicate a conviction.


• STOW: Thou shalt not steal ... 

The man affectionately known as the Marsh Road Patriot plans to eventually replace a sign displaying the Ten Commandments that was stolen recently from his yard. Chris Caetta, who is known for placing an abundance of political signs and flags—even an empty chair during the last presidential election—in his yard, said he has had such items stolen before. But this is the first time he’s filed a police report.

“At one point we actually had something stolen, and when my wife and I went to church on Sunday morning they put it back on our front porch,” Caetta said. “So we know that they’re close.”

A Stow couple is mourning the loss of a beloved family pet today while staying vigilant in the search for its killer.

Kristina and Raymond Cope mourn the loss of Merlin, a 7-year-old mixed-breed dog they adopted from a local animal shelter. The Copes found Merlin on the afternoon of July 27 in a nearby yard not far from their Klein Avenue home. According to Stow Police, Merlin had been shot to death with a pellet gun.

•AVON LAKE: Beer me, dear ...

An Avon Lake man is in jail after drunkenly calling 9-1-1 to report an argument with his ex-wife over five Milwaukee's Best beers. John Bansley, 46, was first cited with public intoxication at 10 a.m. on July 29 outside of Convenient Food Mart on Lear Road and later charged with misuse of the 9-1-1 system. 

He was dropped off at his ex-wife’s home after being cited for open container after police found him with an open 16-ounce can of Milwaukee’s Best Premium beer and a cardboard sign reading “bus ticket or beer.”

He told police he was going to Chicago. After being dropped off at his ex-wife's house with the remaining five Milwaukee Best beers, his wife, per police order, refused to hand over the remaining beer. Bansley called 9-1-1 saying "She took my beer," and "It's a fight over beer."

Bansley concluded the call by telling the dispatcher she "sounded pretty" and asking for her number. Our partners at WEWS has a transcript of the 9-1-1 call as well as the audio to the call.