'Moms Talk' Q & A: How Do You Balance Time Among Multiple Kids So Nobody Feels Neglected?

Each week the council will answer a question on parenthood posed to them by readers or another member of council.

This week, the Mom Councils members talk about how to divide time up to give attention to each child.

This one had me thinking because I not only rarely spent time with either parent without a sibling, my brother and I frequently didn't have names, but were referred to as "the twins." With two moms of twins to ask, I wondered what they might have to say.

Kim Zannetti: Sometimes it can get really crazy, but we make it a point to not only spend one-on-one time with each child, but also to switch it up.  It is easy for moms to spend time with the daughters, and father with the sons. I think we have a heightened awareness because of being twin parents. We have also explained that life is not always "even" or "fair."  We make it a point to do our best for each child with particular needs.

It was interesting to read your comment on twins. We never let anyone refer to the kids as the twins. They each have names, and we politely asked our family and friends to refer to the children by name.

Susan Jerome: I do notice some jealousy between my children, of which I have three, when one gets more attention than the other. One of my children is in the performing arts so we attend many performances for him. The other two choose not to be as active in extracurricular activities so I focus on their strengths and make sure I make it a point to do it when everyone is present so they can be proud of their achievements. I also let them hear me tell other people of their accomplishments so they know I am proud of each one of them for different reasons. All three of them have different interests so it makes it a bit easier.

I make sure I make time for each one individually in many different ways. I try to find what they like and make time to enjoy that individual interest with them. I went to lunch, every week, with my oldest son when he was a freshman in college because his schedule allowed for it. I will begin doing that with my daughter this year. Many nights they will come into my bedroom, before they go to sleep, and just talk. I give them all the time they need to tell me what's on their mind.  When the children were in grade school, I volunteered specifically in their classroom. All three of my children went to a different high school, which afforded me the opportunity to volunteer at each school just for that one child (those were hectic years!). 

There are movies, plays, sporting events, museums, and a host of other things to do in Cleveland. Cost is a factor though, but you can find deals on the computer or in the newspaper and the discount books they sell. My son and I found many BOGO lunch deals that made going to lunch weekly affordable. Many of the high school plays are wonderful. The Cleveland Zoo is free on Mondays to residents of Cuyahoga County. The are a fabulous place to spend time together just walking and sharing thoughts. We enjoy bike riding too and doing volunteer work together.

As they get older, they require less of my time but we have created a close bond by doing these things as they were growing up so we remain close now and continue to enjoy each others' company.