'Moms Talk' Q & A: How Do You Talk to Your Kids About Bullying?

Each week the council will answer a question on parenthood posed to them by readers or another member of council.

This week, the Mom Councils members talk about bullying.

It seems like the subject of bullying has been given more attention in recent years and many school districts have started anti-bullying programs. But what do parents tell their children?

Kim Zannetti: I think that by just talking to your kids, you have a pretty good idea of what is going on. By being involved and knowing their friends, having kids over to the house, you can get a pretty good feel if your child is being bullied.
Whenever we have spoken about issues, we try to engage them in effective problem solving.

We give them practical techniques to use to avoid being the target of bullies. We have been quite fortunate not to have dealt with this very much. Our son is a 6-foot-1 eighth grader, so it hasn't been an issue. We have, however, shared with our kids to stand up for a victim of bullying. There is definitely strength in numbers, and kids will back down if they are challenged.

Susan Jerome: My oldest son was bullied when he was younger. I do not know to what extent because he wouldn't talk much about it. It is a delicate situation and one that is difficult to have a general answer. I talked to the teacher so she could keep an eye out on him and "catch" the bully in the act but, of course, the transgression was never done in front of the teacher.

We talked about the different options but my son was only comfortable with letting it go. He did not have the confidence to stand up to the bully nor would he tell me who it was so I could address it with his parents. I do not think it was severe because he never wanted to stay home from school nor did his grades drop or did he become despondent.
 
I taught my children to be aware of someone being bullied and to tell the teacher or principal if they saw it happening. I also taught them to be friends (ask them to sit with them at lunch or include them in a game at recess) with the child being picked on because they would need someone by their side.