Ten Years Later: Our Lives Forever Changed Because of 9/11

As soon as Carol Ewens, a mother of four boys, watched the horrific scenes unfold on American soil on Sept. 11, 2001, she immediately knew her family's life would be changed forever.

"I just kept saying, 'Oh my gosh, my boys are going to be in middle of that,'" she said.

Their two eldest twin boys, Oaken and Forrest, were enrolled in the Reserve Officers of Training Corps (ROTC), and she said 9/11 solidified their decision to join the Army.

"They didn't want to miss the fight," she said.

That next spring, Elisha "Eli" Ewens, 28, followed his bothers' footsteps.

"I was still in high school on 9/11. I felt like I should do something more after graduating but still wanted to attend college so I joined the National Guard," Eli, a Sergeant in 2-87 Infantry Battalion, 3 Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Infantry, wrote in an email to Patch.

In 2004, Eli's year-long deployment came first as he served in Iraq with Washington’s Army National Guard.

A year later, the family moved from Spokane to be closer to Carol's parents in Gig Harbor.

In June 2006, Forrest, 1st Lt. in the Army’s 10th Mountain Division, was . He was only 25 years old.

Several weeks after Forrest's death, the Ewens' fourth son, Stephen, enlisted.

Carol said Stephen, who previously was a outdoor junkie planning to live on a beach in Hawaii, "totally changed" after his brother's death.

"Stephen and his whole squad came back totally cynical and felt angry at lack of support offered for their team," Michael said. "He was in a very hostile area, and he did not feel supported by the higher ups."

Once Stephen, 26, returned to the U.S., he had nightmares for months, Michael said.

When adjusting back to civilian life, Eli, 28, said his biggest obstacle has been figuring out how to apply himself to the society.

"After being an Infantryman in war, what else can I do? Very few people understand, and very few jobs feel worthwhile in comparison," Eli said.

Following 25 months of service, including two additional tours to Afghanistan with the 10th Mountain Infantry, Carol said Eli still has trouble sleeping and doesn't feel comfortable in crowded places.

"He's come out of it, but he was quiet for a long time," she said.

In the dual mission of fighting terrorism and nation building, Michael said his sons have faced conflicting situations.

Forrest's twin brother, Oaken, 30, told Michael: In order to build relationships with the villages, his commanders suggested that they take off their body armor while visiting with the locals. "And the soldiers said 'You're nuts!'" he said.

Since the U.S. invaded Iraq in 2003, Michael has expressed his resentment toward the government for letting the war drag on for 8-plus years while the Americans struggle financially.

". "If we believe these wars are needed we should pay for them as we wage them."

Michael also feared that his sons and the troops were losing support from the country as economy and politics became people's main focus.

When Stephen was deployed in Afghanistan in 2009, he was listening to the local radio, and people there thought the Russians, not Americans, had occupied in the country, according to Michael.

"If we have to go to war, my oldest boy says war should be short, should be fierce and should be no holds barred," he said. "I'm on the other extreme philosophically, but I agree with him. If we have to go to war, you got to call it for what it is. It's not just a patriotic democracy spreading rhetoric. It's war."

"There is no doubt that 9/11 was a horrible day. Honestly though, once you’re overseas, you aren’t fighting for anything more than the people with you," Eli said. "9/11 has never been my big motivation. After you have friends who did not come back from deployments with you, they and the men still with you are your motivation."

"The kids have to live with those experiences. Our lives today has been affected and forever changed because of 9/11," Carol said.

As a result of their sons living away from home and facing traumatic experiences, Michael said the relationships among his family and views toward the society have changed. 
"I haven't cried this hard in a long time," Michael said. "And the decisions that we made 10 years later, we're still at war. (As a nation), we were better off on the day of 9/11 than we are today. And that's a big loss."