Mom's Talk Q & A: Is Keeping a Child Away From Team Sports Proper Punishment?

Every week, the Greenfield Patch Mom's Council will answer your questions about parenting in Greenfield.

Need help? Need advise? Here is your chance to get some answers from moms just like you.

Check back often as others are encouraged to offer their suggestions in the comments section below.

To submit questions for future Mom's Talk sessions, email David.Cotey@patch.com.

This week's question: My daughter is 12 years old and she belongs to a soccer team and looks forward to the games on the weekends. When she doesn't do her chores or misbehaves, my husband wants to keep her from going to the games as punishment. Is this a good idea?

Melanie O'Brien: Taking away a fun activity can be an effective form of discipline for tweens/teens. If it is homework and/or chores going undone, I prefer to take away TV or computer time. If a bigger rule is broken, then it fits to ground a child from seeing friends, going to sleepovers, shopping trips and fun types of activities. But, preventing a child from an organized sport might not be the best punishment. Sports (dance and music, too) teach discipline and require commitment, excellent skills for children to learn. Why prevent them from doing things that will build character and give them skills for the future? So I say, no, I don't think that's the best punishment for general misbehaving.

Pam Sierzchulski: I believe the punishment should fit the crime. If school work is suffering, more study time, less TV and video time, more book reading and help from Mom and Dad with homework (yes parents, you have to be an active part of that solution). If chores are being ignored, enforce the rules you have established and punishment could again be something like less cell phone access or less time with friends. In our family, organized sports did not fall into the punishment category. Teaching children responsibility includes honoring commitments. Leaving a team short a player, or compromising the instructional efforts of the coach by having to re-teach a skill due to a player's absence for something other than illness is not fair to the team and does not teach a child the value of being a reliable team member. No pizza after the game? OK. Not going to the game? Not the best choice. Hope this helps!