She Tutored Ukrainian Kids, But Now Helps Them In Wartime

CALABASAS, CA — When she started tutoring Ukranian children in English last summer, 17-year-old Lexi Pendola didn’t have a single notion that the kids she was teaching would, in less than a year, become refugees.

Russian President Vladimir Putin’s war made them so. And in the comfort of her Calabasas home, Lexi came to understand that giving English lessons to these kids she’d gotten to know a little about over Saturday morning Zoom sessions just wasn’t enough.

How could it be?

In the background, gunfire popped. She was literally hearing the war on her end of a labyrinth of cables on the ocean’s floor that connected the teens from the two nations. She was inspired in particular by a teen in Ukraine just a year younger, who volunteers for hours every day at a hospital, taking care of children whose parents were either injured or died in the war.

“How much she’s doing when she’s so young inspired me to do as much as I can from here,” Lexi told Patch in a telephone interview Thursday.

Through her Help Ukraine GoFundMe campaign, Lexi has raised nearly $14,000 so far. U.S. dollars go about three times as far on the Ukrainian economy, so the amount raised has the buying power of $42,000. Lexi's fundraising goal is $25,000.

‘What Can A Girl From California Do?’

The fundraiser came about after an email correspondence between Lexi and Julia Pais, a vice principal and teacher at a school in Cherkasy, Ukraine. Her 11-year-old son, Matthew, is one of the kids Lexi tutors.

It was a sweet gesture, Pais thought, but a touch naive.

“What can a girl from California do for us?” she told Patch in a FaceTime interview Thursday from her home in Cherkasy as air raid sirens wailed in the background.

It was nighttime, and though Cherkasy, in central Ukraine, is relatively safe, the sirens have been a nightly reminder since the war started of the 2.5 million children the invasion has uprooted from the security of their homes.

“I was very polite,” Pais said. “I said, ‘Thank you for thinking of us.’ She wrote again and said, ‘I’m thinking of raising money.’ ”

Pais recalled thinking, “Wow, who is this 17-year-old girl with such a big and brave plan and vision to start a fundraiser and do something for Ukraine?”

She directed Lexi to several verified charities, but the California teen was persistent. A big, faceless charity wasn't what she had in mind.

Lexi wanted Help Ukraine campaign donors to immediately see that because they gave, some kids who fled their homes with nothing were afforded the simple dignity of a toothbrush, or some trinket that would return a bit of light to their eyes.

At home for a week after schools shut down and sinking deeper into depression by assaults near Ukraine’s northern, eastern and southern borders and the resulting refugee crisis, Pais found the teen’s moxie to be a beacon.

“I reread the letter from this little girl,” Pais said. “I thought, ‘We can do something together.’ ”

‘Do You Know How Wonderful You Are?’

Lexi initially thought the money she raised would help offset growing food insecurity in Ukraine as a result of the war. “We do that,” she said, but explained the fundraiser is nimble enough to respond to needs as they arise.

“A bus bringing refugees to centers broke down, and with that money we were able to repair it,” she said, ticking off a list. “We were able to buy a washing machine for a center, and body armor vests, flashlights and even some toys for these kids. …”

Lexi’s parents, Gregg and Marcie Pendola, wire the money by Western Union to Pais, who provides updates for the GoFundMe page, receipts and a spreadsheet with a line-by-line accounting of every cent she spends.

“Lexi, do you know how wonderful you are?” a Thursday text from Pais began.

Because of Lexi, she wrote in the text shared with Patch, a teen staying at Cherkasy’s Alpha House Refugee Center was able to get back to her schoolwork. Two girls, ages 6 and 7, one of them with Down syndrome, now have some things to occupy their time — Play-Doh, markers and albums, that sort of thing. They even bought a scooter for the center because there’s little for kids to do along their journey to uncertainty.

A similar text arrives almost daily.

“She’s so detailed,” Lexi said. “She sends all these pictures and texts to post [on GoFundMe], and people can really see where their money is going, and how appreciated it is in Ukraine.”

‘A Girl In California Did This’

“This is a big responsibility,” Pais said matter-of-factly. “I know how important it is to be accountable for every penny you spend and report for every penny.”

Pais, 47, and her husband, a translator who like her speaks flawless English, have through the sheer luck of geography kept their son safe. But he sees what the war has done to other kids like him. Humanitarian corridors have been opened to Cherkasy from places such as the southeastern Ukraine port city of Mariupol, a city practically wiped off the map by Russian forces in a siege in which about 5,000 people are believed to have been killed.

One family arrived from Mariupol in a car riddled by bullets, its windshield held together by tape and plastic where side windows should be, Pais said. There were five people inside — the young couple, their 5-year-old daughter and her 60-year-old grandmother, and the dad’s brother.

Before they left, they spent 10 days huddled in the basement of a church with 100 other people. They escaped the besieged city on March 16 — “miraculously” so, Pais said — and started a journey to Cherkasy that should’ve taken about two hours, but instead took 16 as they stopped at checkpoint after checkpoint, where the adults had to remove their outerwear and submit to pat-downs and searches. They arrived exhausted and hungry, but grateful for a place to sleep, Pais said.

The 5-year-old’s expression was devoid of joy.

“When I looked at her, she wouldn’t smile,” Pais said. “She had big eyes and was scared to talk. I bought her hairpins and bracelets, and she smiled.”

It’s not the kind of gesture a big charity would undertake, no matter how good and important the work it accomplishes. But because of Lexi, Pais was able to put a smile on the face of a tender young girl hurled into a violent, confusing situation she can’t comprehend.

“A girl in California did this,” she tells the refugees as she distributes some of the things they need to “start their lives from scratch.”

“For this family, this is something unbelievable,” Pais said. “Ukranians are very shy people. If you ask them, ‘Do you have any needs?’ they will say, ‘No, we are fine,’ and then I discover all they have is all they are wearing.”

The girl’s mother was abstemious when asked what she needs — five forks and spoons, a frying pan, just enough to cook for her family.

“They are so meek and gentle-hearted,” Pais said, “they are overwhelmed that somewhere on the other side of the world, someone cares about them.

“This war has taught us a lot of things,” she said. “Be grateful for what we have. Before the war, we [had] stable lives. This protection was shaken. We were in shock, then we came to the acceptance that the true value of life is not the material things.

“Our culture, our faith, our families, human relations and friendship, love and support — we can lose those material things in a second,” Pais said, placing her hand on her heart and blinking back tears. “We are thankful we are alive.”

‘I Want To Go And Hug Her’

No one’s life has been changed more than Lexi’s.

She found the tutoring program through Meaningful Teens, a program born of the COVID-19 pandemic to help teens around the world connect with literacy and English language programs. The kids she has tutored range in age from 10 to 16, and before the war lived in Cherkasy, Kyiv, Kharkiv, Lviv and other major Ukrainian cities.

Some are still there, such as the 16-year-old calmly going about her volunteer work who so inspired Lexi to do more than tutor. Others are on a journey to safer regions in western Ukraine, Poland and other countries.

“I was really shy when I started tutoring,” Lexi said. “Now I can talk to anyone. It’s made me a lot more compassionate toward others.”

The experience has also moved the Calabasas High School junior with a 4.5 grade point average closer to deciding what she’s going to do with her life, though there’s still a lot to sort out.

“I’m looking into European history, to learn more about how this all started,” Lexi said. “I want to keep this going as long as possible.”

A war that makes teens like herself and young children refugees, separates them from their fathers, turns their homes into piles of rubble and robs them of the innocence of childhood is a lot for a 17-year-old to absorb. Marcie Pendola exudes pride with how well her daughter has navigated the heart-crushing emotions and urgency to help.

“She has lived a very sheltered, privileged life,” she said. “To see her get attached to them and want to help them has been truly remarkable to watch. We had no idea how much this money would help. It’s so heartwarming to see the fight in them and their appreciation.

“It’s been amazing to see this through Lexi’s eyes.”

Through Pais' eyes, Lexi continues to be “a bright light.”

“She doesn’t realize how much she did,” she said. “When the war finishes, I want to go and hug her. Maybe one day we will meet in person.”

Below is a video Pais students' put together that shows the war through the voices of children.

GoFundMe is a Patch promotional partner.