If there is a Jesus...and He came back to talk to a Billionaire

Christianity is a religion that is based on the life and teachings of Jesus of Nazareth, as chronicled in the New Testament of the Bible. 2/3 of all Americans identify themselves as Christians.

“In 2018 the richest 400 families paid tax at a rate 1.2 per cent less than bottom half of American households. A new book-length study on the tax burden of the ultra-rich begins with a startling finding: In 2018, for the first time in history, America's richest billionaires paid a lower effective tax rate than the working class.” www.independent.co.uk

A man is putting on his tie while standing in his bedroom in a 12 bedroom house in the Hamptons. Jesus appears in his room. The following is a conversation that took place there.

Jesus: Bill!… behind you, Bill. Sorry to surpise you. Do you know who I am?

Billionaire (Bill). What? What are you....? Who let you in here? Who are you? Is this a jo...

Jesus: I am Jesus, Bill. It's me. God sent me down here because he thought we needed to have a talk. Do you have a few minutes?

Bill: Is this a joke? This is a joke, right?

Jesus starts to levitate slightly off the floor while holding out his hands.

(Unless ye see miracles you will not believe. John 4:48)

Bill: Well, Oh My God...How...? I’ve got a few minutes. Yes, I mean, sure, if you are Jesus. I've always liked, I mean, believed in you even when it doesn’t seem like I…

Jesus: Sure, sure. Whatever you say, but we have a problem. For me to come back here after almost 2,000 years things had to be out of hand….I was close to coming back a few decades ago but you all managed to end that madness on your own, kinda. This is a different kettle of fish and that’s why I’m here.

Bill: Sure Jesus. What can I do for you? I’m happy to help.

Jesus: Great Bill. Here is the problem. Our accounting shows that you have more than a billion dollars in wealth? Is that right?

Bill: Yes. It’s amazing, right. Who would have thought that you could make billions just by selling pizzas. People love pizza. We sell more than any other company. In fact, I can have one delivered right here to you if you want. What toppings do you like? We are having a “buy one get one free" sale right now so if you have any friends.

Jesus: Thanks Bill. That won’t be necessary. Thanks for the offer.

Bill: I mean, it’s not the greatest pizza but it’s …

Jesus: Bill, have you read the story of my life on earth….The New Testament?

Bill: Well, not cover to cover. I know about the highlights. I know how it ends. I’ve been really busy with this Pizza company. We are planning a merger. You have no idea how..

Jesus: According to our records you identify yourself as a “Christian”, is that right, Bill?

Bill: Of course..Red, white and blue, Christian. Always have and always..

Jesus: OK, but do you know what my life was all about? I spoke a great deal about helping the needy, the poor…those who are suffering. That’s one of the reasons why God sent me here to earth the first time. I won’t bore you with all that I said but does this ring a bell for you?: "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God".” Have you ever heard that? You do know what I was talking about, don’t you, Bill?

Bill: Well, I don’t remember anything about a camel, really…

Jesus: Here is the thing, Bill…there are things humanity needs even more than pizza. When you have an absurd abundance of money that you could never spend in hundreds of lifetimes don’t you think it would be a good thing, a thoughtful thing, a Christian thing, if you gave some of what you have earned selling pizza pies to those who are less fortunate than yourself? It offends God that you don’t care about anyone else but yourself. It’s all there in the New testament, Bill. After all….

Bill: Well, actually I am planning to do that someday. I’m just not ready to now…..a billion isn’t as much as it used to be, you know…I mean….lots of things could happen and..

Jesus: You must be kidding, right, Bill. Bill…you are talking to Jesus here so let’s just keep it straight…. You’ve had it pretty good…your parents were able to send you to the best schools and you grew up near the private golf course in your town. You were blessed to have a very high IQ. Didn’t your uncle start that Pizza business back in the 80’s and didn’t he continue to hire you even when you had those DUI’s in 1994? His attorney’s were able to get you off easy for that and non one knew about it…Don’t you think, given all the abundance in your life, that you could give a lot back to those who are suffering…? Lots of good, hard working people are suffering, Bill. I’m not even asking you to alter your opulent lifestyle in the least, Bill. Last year you earned 85 million dollars selling mostly pizza and garlic knots…just give some of that excess that you have…give it all to those whose lives will be changed forever because of that assistance. Wouldn’t that be more rewarding than hording it? Wouldn’t enabling all those people to have a better life be much more enjoyable than buying that 4th Rolls Royce? You still have the three, right Bill?

Bill: Yes. Yes, maybe, but I earned this money, every penny…Why should I give it away? I’m not responsible for those people who can’t get their lives together…Let them take care of…

Jesus: Bill, lets not talk about how you earned “every penny of it”. I know the whole back story. Maybe we can talk about that later. Recall the line in the Bible, “To whom much is given, much is expected”.

You are adopted, right Bill?

Bill: Yes

Jesus: Did you know that when you were born your umbilical cord was wrapped around your neck during the birth. Because your parents had the best doctors in the room they were able to do a rather miraculous procedure in time that prevented you from having permanent brain damage? You just as easily could be in a wheelchair right now severely disabled.

Did you also know that your father almost died when you were 4 years old. He would have been killed by an automobile but a man beside him pushed him out of the way of the car and that man was killed instead of your father. He didn’t tell you that? Imagine your life from the age of 4 without your father? He loaned money to your uncle a few years later to start that pizza business after your uncle had dropped out of school with nothing. That man on the street had children of his own. He died so that you could have a dad when you needed him most, and when your uncle needed him most. See how that works, Bill? It’s all about saving people…from death, from poverty, from suffering, from sorrow and anguish. You have a unique opportunity that very, very few have to be a tremendous force for good.... and you don’t even have to get your hands dirty.

Bill: I never knew that…My dad never told me about that…but why should I have to pay for that…I mean, I got my degree and …

Jesus: Bill, step back a little and look at the big picture. Don’t you think it should matter to you that others are suffering and others didn’t have the opportunities you had? Wouldn’t it feel good to help people in profound ways all while knowing that your lifestyle of exaggerated opulence won’t even be affected, at all? I'm not asking much, Bill. This is a no brainer.

Really, Bill, does anyone need more than a few million dollars in order to do virtually everything they could ever want to do? You have well over a billion dollars, and it is growing daily. What if I had a million pairs of shoes and half the country had no shoes….wouldn't I want to give some of my shoes to those in need or would I just let a million shoes sit in my closet while I wear one pair a day? Think Bill. Imagine.

Bill: I see what you are saying about the shoes.. I definitely would give some of those shoes away…I mean, who needs a million pairs of shoes?

Jesus: It’s not about shoes…it’s about the needs of those who are suffering and your unique ability to help them immensely with no change to your lifestyle whatsoever. The man who saved your father’s life wishes he had an offer like that. You are getting off easy, Bill.

Bill: But, what about those guys who are making way more than me? Why don’t you go to them…..first? It doesn’t seem fair that you would come down here to ask me to give so much when you should be going to the richest people, people with 100 billion. They are..

Jesus: I’m coming to you, Bill. I’m asking you, today..right now. Think of it this way…God picked you. And, even if there were no God…and the story of my life was a myth…wouldn’t it be the right thing to follow the advice I have given you. You’ve heard of the Golden Rule, haven’t you, Bill. It still works even if you don't believe in me. We are trying to have a civilization here. We are all in this together. It's about caring, Bill.

Bill: Jesus…it’s been great meeting you and I wish I had more time. I am honored you came to see me but I can’t miss this conference call in 10 minutes. Maybe we can meet up again sometime. It’s better to call my secretary because my schedule is tight. And, about those shoes. I totally agree with you. When I get a chance I’m going to go in my closet and find the shoes that I am not wearing anymore and give those to charity. That makes sense. I've got lots of those. I can’t promise my wife will do the same, though. (Bill laughs)

Jesus: Ok, Bill. Go ahead and take that call. You’re a busy man. Take care of yourself. I know you will.

Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.
Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!” (Mark 10:21-23)

Hypocrisy used to be a shameful human characteristic. Maybe it is in theory but it certainly hasn't made any of the hypocrites uncomfortable. I am not a Christian, myself, but I sure wish I lived in a country surrounded by (true) Christians....ones who aspired to follow the examples of Jesus. It wouldn't solve all of our problems but it would solve most of them.

Imagine!