Radiant You: Achievement Junkie Hits The Wall

It seems I’m not the only one who is just plain tired lately. I think there are many of us used to living our lives on “high speed”, who are getting a universal whack in the head this month. I’m not sure why I think I can sustain 110% energy year ’round, but the last few weeks have been a good lesson in patience and accepting that sometimes things are just not going to go as planned.

This morning I asked my partner, Ron, if he thought I was pretending not to notice that the universe is trying to slow me down…his answer “uh, yeah”. The problem is, the more sensitive and aware I become, the harder it is to stick my head in the sand…Okay, I’m done pretending I don’t know what’s going on.

The Universe’s time…not mine.

It seems that many of the things that I’ve set out to accomplish lately are being thwarted, and there is nothing I can do to “fix” them to fulfill my unrealistic expectations of myself. Sometimes it feels like I am trying to push open a giant automatic gate, and it is just opening at the speed of the motor no matter how hard I push.

Surrender

Years ago, sailors learned that when they were out at sea and a huge storm came their way, rather than trying to fight the storm, they would take down their sails. They learned that the sea is too powerful and the sails would be torn and tattered. They would simply ride out the storm, because storms don’t last forever. Who knows, by surrendering they may have even been pushed closer to their destination.

This got me thinking…how tattered have my sails gotten in the past couple of days? It is time to bring them in.

Following the Light

It’s late December and the days are short. The darkness tells my body to rest…to store up my light. Radiance follows the light and there is always a balance of light and dark. It doesn’t mean that I am any less fulfilled, joyful, or connected to all that is, it just means that in the darkness, I can relax and go inward.

Soon the days will be getting longer, so I will enjoy the dark today.

Metamorphosis into Beauty

Like a the cycle of a butterfly whose larva MUST work hard, eating everything in site, growing as big as possible, and storing up enough energy to survive the transformation into the quiet, dark, gooeyness of the chrysalis, I’ve done my work this year…and it’s time to go into the goo.

From the outside of the chrysalis it looks like nothing is happening, but really, this is where all the coolest stuff takes place. The butterfly cannot skip the chrysalis phase or the magic never happens. What if, as humans, we skip our phases of going inward? What if we just push through being tired and taking time for ourselves…what magic could be at stake?

And, even when the butterfly emerges, it doesn’t take off flying immediately…it eases into its new “self”, letting its wings expand slowly by pumping blood into them until it is time to fly. Then, they spend the rest of their cycle creating!

Ms. Achievement Junkie takes a breath

Being aware of my cycle and giving myself permission to take time for me, gives me the freedom to adjust my expectations and allow myself some breathing room. I’m okay with whether “magic” happens or not…I just want to stop pushing for now and rest.