Registration Open for Rainbow Kids

“When it comes to gender, it is not for us to decide, but for the children to tell us who they are, if we give them the chance. And they are now telling us, in words and actions, that gender does not come in just two boxes, male and female, but in an infinite variety of shapes and sizes.”-Diane Ehrensaft, Director of Mental Health and Founding Member, Child and Adolescent Gender Center at UCSF

Community Equity Collaborative (CEC) recently launched Rainbow Kids in collaboration with the San Mateo County Pride Center (SMCPC) to "unbox" the beautiful spectrum of gender and work toward a more expansive and welcoming world for all children starting from day one.

The Power of Early Affirmation

When was the first time you had any notion about gender? Most likely, it was earlier than you remember. Children form foundational concepts of gender, families, and love before the age of five. By one year, children are able to categorize people by gender. By two years, they understand basic stereotypes. By three or four years, most have a stable sense of their gender identity.

Yet, the majority of parenting books and blogs do not describe these critical development milestones in early childhood (0 - 5 years). They can even perpetuate the binary gender concept by, for example, showing images of boys playing with trucks and girls playing with dolls. According to preschool owner and CEC organizing member Heather Hopkins, “Cultivating inclusive environments that welcome children’s evolving sense of self in these early years is an integral part of child development.” The messages conveyed about gender in media, classrooms and homes can have a lasting impact on a child’s health and social- emotional well-being, especially when a child’s gender identity is not respected nor affirmed. LGBTQ+ youth are far more likely to consider suicide, abuse substances and suffer depression than their peers. But there is good news: family acceptance protects youth against these negative outcomes.

Even for children who identify along traditionally binary gender roles, we can open the doors to effective learning and feelings of safety and acceptance by creating gender-aware and inclusive environments. When we understand issues related to sexual orientation and gender identity/expression (SOGIE) and engage in age-appropriate conversations with children about the diversity of families and gender, we give them the language and freedom to explore their identities while creating a more expansive and inclusive world for everyone.

The Gap in Education and Resources

As with most parenting issues, there are no simple or one-size-fit-all answers for navigating gender identity. However, what initially may feel overwhelming can become manageable with the appropriate resources. The Bay Area has a wealth of LGBTQ+ resources for teens and adults. But, there are very few accessible options for parents of young children. Local SOGIE trainings for parents primarily focus on children ages 10 years and above. Strategies and tools relevant for children under five are also not common in parenting books, blogs and other resources. With limited awareness and resources, many parents are missing critical information and support during these early years when concepts about gender, love and family are forming.

Rainbow Kids Fills the Gap

Tackling SOGIE topics with a child (or anyone) can feel unfamiliar, complex, or even scary. To bridge the SOGIE resources gap, CEC launched Rainbow Kids in the fall of 2021 with funding from SVCF and in collaboration with the San Mateo County Pride Center (SMCPC). The 90-minute free webinar they created offers welcoming and relatable learning opportunities that provide age-appropriate strategies and tools. They worked closely with Azisa Todd, Lead Trainer and Events Coordinator at SMCPC, and Nathanael Flynn, an early childhood educator and co-author of Supporting Gender Diversity in Early Childhood Classrooms, to create a virtual training with supporting resources that has become the hallmark of the Rainbow Kids program. The training was launched in April 2022 and offered parents and child-supporting professionals practical information and guidance on topics such as understanding LGBTQ+ identities and the messages children receive about gender, love and family along with practical tools for talking about these ideas with young children.

In addition, CEC developed an online library of Rainbow Kids resources, including one-page info sheets, for continued learning and created awareness-building materials with family-friendly and simple messages about SOGIE in early childhood. With the support of other organizations, including 4Cs of San Mateo County, First5 of San Mateo County and the Child Care Partnership Council, CEC expanded its ability to share these resources and increase awareness throughout the Bay Area’s parent and early childhood education communities.

Somewhere Over the…Rainbow Kids

There is more work to be done, according to CEC’s Jen Sheldon.

"The need for parents to have an understanding of SOGIE issues has always existed. As we learn more about gender, the critical importance of acceptance, and the real numbers of those who don’t fit into a binary gender role, the need is even more pronounced.”

A nationwide poll showed more than a third of 13- to 21 year olds know someone who uses gender-neutral pronouns. In the most recent CA Healthy Kids Survey (2017-2019) of San Mateo County middle- and high-school students, about 14% indicated they identify as not straight or are not sure yet whether they are straight. At the same time, a similar poll showed that 60% of U.S. adults believe a person’s gender is determined by their sex assigned at birth. The good news is that for a variety of reasons, including increased media attention and LGBTQ+-related legislation, awareness about gender diversity and experiences of the LGBTQ+ community is growing. More parents are seeking local sources of support and need accurate information about gender development beyond what is presented in social media or a headline.

Registration is now open for all four of the Rainbow Kids virtual trainings in 2023. According to CEC’s Executive Director Dayna Chung, “we are delighted to bring this valuable and one-of-a-kind learning opportunity back this year. Our team is also developing a Spanish-language version of the training for the Latinx community that speaks specifically to its cultural and religious norms, which we hope will will be ready by next fall.” If you'd like to check-out the English training, click here to join on February 15, April 19, June 21 or September 7. Through Rainbow Kids, CEC will continue to work toward a more expansive world where children’s dreams of being safe and accepted as their true selves really do come true.

Resources

• Read the Rainbow Kids Summary Report
• Contact Jen Sheldon at jennifer@communityequitycollaborative.org for more information on Rainbow Kids or Dayna Chung at dayna@communityequitycollaborative.org for more information on Community Equity Collaborative dayna@communityequitycollaborative.org
• Read this primer on Early Childhood - Gender 101 by Gender Justice in Early Childhood