Letter to the Editor: Let's Slow Down

The following is a letter from Deborah Monaghan:

On Wednesday, as I was doing errands in downtown San Anselmo and downtown Fairfax someone backed into my car, crushed the bumper and took off. No one around flagged me down, or to my knowledge saw anything. I'm unemployed and now out my $500 deductible to fix it. In the city I would have expected this behavior, but here I thought, maybe idealistically, that it would be different - I mean they leave the plants out at the nursery. 

A couple of things come to mind as I've been aggressively chewing on this experience. One is that the quality of responsibility and owning up to one's mistakes seems to have waned. The truth hurts when you make a mistake, sometimes financially, but I'm a young (or like to think so) 34 and most of what I read and hear these days is everyone wanting to blame everyone else, everyone wanting to pass the buck to someone else - politically, community-wise, or in our everyday interactions, like hitting someone's bumper.

I don't remember it being this way when I was younger. Growing up, I recall watching accidents and little incidents of tension take place and, more often than not, both parties bucked up to deal with the situation at hand, treated each other with respect, and an understanding that we are all human and therefore should both forgive ourselves and others for being less than perfect seemed at hand. And if your choices or actions meant you were out money, well, yes, it hurt, but you swallowed it and owned up.

The second theme running through my brain is that we all need to slow down. Many of us are spastic, doing too much, zipping around in our car armor, fighting for parking spots and jockeying to get to our next destination just a little bit quicker so our needs get fulfilled ASAP. The aggression comes out, judgements and blame flares, when really, it's all up to each of us.

I am guilty of this behavior (and frequently) as well and I'm working on it. It's me who decides how busy I am, the pace that I move, my response to crowded roads and crowded places. And sometimes things don't go my way - highways are closed and life is inconvenient. C'est la vie. As cliche as it may be, take a moment to look at the trees, realize that maybe that errand can wait and do more with less. My guess is that we'll be more forgiving of each other and ourselves if there is a bit more time and space to get things done.

Coming back from the body shop today, I found myself cursing the person in front of me for going at a more leisurely pace than I wished and I caught myself doing the very thing that I am writing about. So, I said to myself 'you chose this route to drive and they were here before you.' Enough said, it's up to me. And I apologize to everyone that I've been rude to on the road or in line - it's my bad.

I know it's hard to keep this train moving at a comfortable pace, but I'd love to see us take responsibility for our behaviors, responses and actions. Can we slow down and be a bit more conscious of our speed - physically and mentally? Oh yeah, and please, if you do mess up, leave a note. 

-- Deborah Monaghan

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