Thanks to Others' Kindness, Once Homeless Woman Turns Life Around

By Charlene McMahon

Michaela Fissel had a secret she couldn’t share with anyone. She felt so much shame about what happened to her when she was a child, she started doing drugs when she was in her teens to help numb her pain and try to forget.

Things got so bad that her mother, who was struggling to support four children as a single parent, gave her an ultimatum. “My Mom made the decision to ask me to leave the house,” said Michaela. “I was homeless at 17.”

Michaela stuffed some clothes, a black Sharpie for eyeliner along with a few dollars in her backpack, filled a huge trash bag with clothes, and spent two years wandering the streets of Hartford. When the shelters were full, she slept on park benches and under bridges to try and stay warm. There were nights she spent smoking crack. “I was immersed in a world that people don’t know exists,” said Michaela.

Others in the homeless community offered protection when voices in her head took over. Michaela spent so much time at hospitals she described herself as a “frequent flier in the emergency room.”

Incredibly, Michaela turned her life around by deciding to go to college while she was homeless, with the help of people who believed in her. That may sound like a script for a Lifetime movie, but that decision changed her life.

One of the key people who helped her achieve that was Dr. Duncan Harris. Currently Harris, ED. D. is the CEO at Capital Community College, but when Michaela met him, he was a Counselor and the Director of Academic Advising at Manchester Community College (MCC).

“I walked into Dr. Harris’s office at MCC a hot mess, and when I walked out, he got me a work/study position while I was homeless,” said Michaela. “That man is an angel. He is one of the people who saved my life. He saw far more in me than I saw in myself.”

“When she came to the counseling office she had the weight of the world on her shoulders, and she broke down crying,” said Harris. “I knew she needed some income, and my role was to listen to her, remove barriers, and to help provide support for Michaela.”

Harris arranged for Michaela to be a student worker at the MCC Counseling Center. “What was special about that place was that she was surrounded by a group of caring professionals committed to seeing her succeed at college,” said Harris.

She spent the night before she started classes at MCC at a homeless shelter in Hartford. “I bounced between homeless shelters in Hartford and Manchester while living on the streets,” said Michaela. The homeless shelter she stayed at in Manchester has since closed, but at the time, it was a little closer to MCC. She only had to take one bus to get to classes instead of two, if she spent the night at a shelter in Hartford.

Fortunately, some of the people she met while she was homeless and going to college showed concern and treated her with respect, and Michaela believes that is what helped her turn her life around. “They refused to let me believe I was anything less than capable,” said Michaela. “They never saw anything wrong with me. When I went to them with a struggle, they would say, OK, what are we going to do about it.”

One of the people who encouraged her was a woman she met at the homeless shelter in Manchester. Michaela does not know her last name, but she said she will never forget the kindness and support that Shirley, an intake staff member at the shelter, offered while she was homeless. “I just remember her sitting with me for hours in the middle of the night just listening and encouraging me to continue going to school and telling me that things were going to work out.”

With Harris’ support and the help of several others who encouraged her, she got an associate’s degree in fine arts at MCC in 2007 and three years later earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology at Central Connecticut State University. “Michaela did very well and received scholarships. She was an outstanding student,” said Harris.

Two years ago, Michaela was named Executive Director of Advocacy Unlimited, Inc., a non-profit service organization based in Hartford and New Britain. AU provides innovative peer-led support services to people struggling with emotional distress and is funded solely through grants and donations

Because of the help she has received Michaela, who grew up in Windsor and currently lives there with her three sons, is determined to raise $50,000 this summer for AU to create a program designed for young people facing emotional trauma. She said her goal is to help young people avoid some of the trauma she faced when she was younger.

Although she has turned her life around, Michaela faced many challenges along the way. She knows she is not only lucky to be doing the work she is doing; she is lucky to be alive. She could have been just another drug overdose statistic.

What finally turned her away from living on the streets was getting pregnant. “When I found out I was pregnant at age 19, I decided to take life more seriously. I made the commitment to establish greater stability in my life,” Michaela said.

She knew it was not healthy for her or her baby to be living on the streets, so she made the tough decision to ask her mother if she could come home. Her mother said yes, and for more than a year, Michaela focused on going to school, working, and taking care of her baby.

Although she was no longer homeless, life was not easy for Michaela. A year after her son was born, she got involved in a relationship and when they broke up, Michaela started spiraling downward.

Some people also tried to discourage her from going to school because she was a single mother juggling a job while taking classes. Several people told her she was trying to do too much, Michaela said, and she started feeling “overwhelmed.” “I hit a wall,” she said.

Her mother was so concerned when Michaela told her she wanted to kill herself, she brought her to the hospital. The first thing Michaela did after she was released with a bag of medications was swallow all the pills. After that overdose Michaela woke up in the hospital “in four-point restraints” screaming, because she was so angry to be alive.

After she survived an overdose a second time, she took a breath and told herself maybe there was a reason she had survived. When she was admitted to the Institute of Living it was a turning point, Michaela said, because for the first time in her life, she talked to someone about what had happened to her as a child. “I was sexually abused, she said. “I felt dirty and ashamed.”

“The earliest childhood memory I have is one of sexual abuse where a family friend used my body to gratify his sexual desires. That persisted through my early adolescence,” said Michaela. “And it wasn’t just one person.”

All those years she had hidden the trauma she faced as a child from others but not from herself. “I reached a point where I couldn’t hide from myself anymore,” she said. “I spent a lot of time when I was younger trying to fit in, so that no one would know my secrets. But in my inner dialogue I was very critical of myself.”

Gradually as she talked with a therapist about the abuse she suffered as a child, she realized that she did not have any adults in her life when she was growing up to protect her from the abuse. Michaela said she does not blame her family, because they didn’t know about the abuse. “I didn’t share, because I didn’t know I could. I was so disgusted with myself and so preoccupied with keeping it a secret,” she said. “And nobody asked.”

She blamed herself all those years, and although it was a relief to finally talk about it with someone, she faced another trauma after she was hospitalized, when she was told she was “seriously mentally ill.” “They gave me so many different diagnoses. It seemed like they were trying to find one that fit,” said Michaela. “I literally felt that my life was over.”

After she was in the hospital, going back to school was really difficult for her. She had already started taking classes at CCSU, and when she left the hospital, she was not sure about returning to campus. Because of all the support she received at MCC, the first person she called was MCC Counselor Joe Navarra to ask for his advice, and he encouraged her to talk to Lila Coddington, assistant director at CCSU and a marriage and family therapist.

Coddington is currently on sabbatical from CCSU, but at the time, she was an adviser for Michaela at CCSU, and she arranged for Michaela to continue her education. “Thankfully Lila was there, because she helped me extend my classes, so I could do the work after I was in the hospital, and I was able to catch up,” said Michaela.

Coddington also encouraged her to see herself as more than “just a label,” said Michaela. “She sat with me and challenged my beliefs that I was mentally ill and that I had to learn to live within the limits of a diagnosis. Through the support she offered, I began to see myself as, Michaela, a student, and a mother, and that I could be all these things, and I could be good at it, and keep pursuing my goals.”

When she went to classes at CCSU, she brought her son in a stroller and carried some of her notebooks and pens for her classes in his diaper bag. She switched from art to psychology at CCSU to help her figure out what was going on in her life.

After she graduated from CCSU, Michaela worked for six years as a contractor for several community health organizations funded by Connecticut’s Dept. of Mental Health and Addiction Services. “I primarily worked with young adults ages 18 to 29,” Michaela said.

She said the work was rewarding, and it gave her the opportunity to see that she could use her experiences to help others.

Before she was appointed executive director at AU, she worked as assistant executive director. What drew her to the self-help organization was their belief that people are more than just a label, she said. “At AU we choose not to use labels, because that can limit how someone sees their own abilities,” said Michaela.

She was hired by AU’s Executive Director Deron Drumm, and she said he encouraged her to see herself that way. She was named executive director after Drumm died from a sudden illness in 2019. Michaela said she admired Drumm, and he encouraged her to follow her goals.

Part of the reason she is so passionate about not focusing on labels is because she saw some of the young people she worked with “just give up” after they were diagnosed with a psychiatric illness. “When you are thrust into the psychiatric treatment world that can be a dark and scary place that you can get lost in,” said Michaela.

She realizes that not focusing on labels may be controversial, but she believes there is more than one way to help people. Michaela said that it took a long time for her to realize her own capabilities and see herself as multi-dimensional, and she is passionate about creating new programs for young people at AU to help them see their potential.

“So many young people have no idea that what they are going through is a normal human reaction to damaging or harmful circumstances, and that they are going to be OK,” said Michaela.

She said that AU provides education, advocacy, and support to those who experience trauma, emotional distress, or addiction, and the goal is not to be anybody’s savior. The idea is to help people help themselves, Michaela said.

She hopes to raise donations for AU by hiking for five days in the Adirondacks this August. Michaela has never done that long of a hike before, but she discovered so much peace when she hiked there last summer, she decided to push herself to raise funds this summer with a longer hike. “Life gets pretty noisy for me with all the day-to-day responsibilities,” said Michaela. “Through rediscovering nature, I quieted my mind and I found my voice.”

When she tells anyone about her plans for the fundraiser, the reaction she typically gets is shock. “You are doing what?” they ask her. It may not be a typical fundraiser, but not much of Michaela’s life has been.

Harris said that Michaela’s story is inspiring. “She not only overcame her challenges but has committed her life’s work to helping others and supporting them as they work through difficult challenges,” he said. “I am not surprised Michaela is living a purpose filled life.”

To donate to Michaela’s fundraiser contact www.advocacy

unlimited.org, or text hike50 to 414444, or mail a donation to Michaela’s Fundraiser at Advocacy Unlimited, Inc. at 114 West Main Street, New Britain, CT 06051