‘Reverse Nesting’ Commences as Graduation Marks High School’s End

High school graduation is a time for long last looks and goodbyes, and all I can remember of the time is feeling compelled to clean — and cry.

I trust I was not alone, nor do I suspect it is much different for the scores of parents today, four years later, who are poised to attend this week’s graduation ceremonies for the graduating Greater Brandon area seniors of Armwood, Brandon, Riverview and Strawberry Crest high schools. (For a full list of Hillsborough County School District graduation dates and times, see the chart below.)

In honor of the ritual that marks the “filling of the pail” and the “lighting of the fire,”  reprinted here is a column I wrote to mark the occasion in 2007. It appeared in the Brandon News and Tribune. 

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The time has come for long last looks and goodbyes.

And all I seem compelled to do is clean — and cry.

I trust I am not alone.

In fact, someone should write a book about this stage of letting go, as I have threatened to do on more than one occasion, and in it should be a chapter called, “Nesting.”

Or, more accurately, “Reverse Nesting.”

It stands in contrast to that period of time, right before birth, when even the most slovenly among us could be seen cleaning out closets, washing down baseboards and hauling out bags of trash.

Nesting is a period of time marked by arranging and rearranging everything, from furniture, to furnishings, to trinkets and knickknacks, all in the hopes of establishing the most perfect environment for our most precious bundle of joy.

How much time did we spend shopping for that perfect stroller, crib, car seat?

How many of us washed every piece of clothing before any one piece of material would touch our precious baby's skin?

How many of us started baby books before even setting eyes on the baby?

How often did we pore over parenting books, hoping to get it just right, right off the bat, driven by a boost of energy that seemed to come out of nowhere, right before the impending birth?

It seems a crime that we should age, but we do.

Now, that boost of energy is transfixed again on cleaning, sorting, discarding and reorganizing, only this time it is nesting in reverse.

Our most precious bundle of joy soon will be wrapped in a cap and gown, and our task now is to prepare the most perfect environment for letting go.

That involves the mundane: dusting, vacuuming, washing, discarding.

But instead of building a nursery, we're building a memorial, just in time for graduation celebrations and get-togethers.

Out come the pictures, placed strategically around the house to remind us of the journey we have taken together for better or for worse and for always.

Out come the old school papers that we've held on to all these years, even if it was just a multiple-choice test answer sheet (and who knows why we did that).

So we ditch them now, but never the compositions and essays that throughout the years gave testament to our children's growing literacy and independent thinking.

We donate childhood clothes and pack up for contribution dog-eared books with many hours of use.

But not every one of them; some we hold on to.

I'm looking now at 'Worms Wiggle' and 'My Pretty Little Ballerina,' and it's hard not to remember the many nights we spent, Zoe and I, lifting the flaps and mimicking the dances.

Yes, I'm reverse nesting; I'm holding on to those items that will help me create the most perfect environment for remembering - and letting go.

But more important, I'm furnishing a home that every day on a moment's notice, no matter how far my daughter travels, will always have a light on to welcome her home.

GRADUATION: HILLSBOROUGH COUNTY PUBLIC HIGH SCHOOLS