Bridging the Racial Divide: Interracial Marriage

When Michael and Debi Ice of Pensacola met in 2007 they noticed what they had in common rather than the differences in the color of their skin.. At first Debi was just a friend of Mike’s mother, but soon Mike was interested. He explains, “I really didn’t want to get married again, but something between us just clicked... She has such a sunny disposition... it was nice to have a person like that to share things with.”

Mike admits after he and Debi married he faced a new reality. Among family and friends, they were husband and wife, but to many others, the couple says they were a white man married to a Black woman. “You begin to realize how subtle racism is,” Mike Ice said, “the side eye, or the people following you around the store or the way people say things...”

According to the Pew Research Center, one in five new marriages is now interracial. While statistics suggest that interracial marriages in America have gained greater acceptance, not all couples have that experience. Still, they have found ways to cope.

Shared religious faith along with a community of fellow believers have been invaluable in navigating the cultural complexities.

Greg Watson began dating the woman of his dreams 30 years ago, and he said barely noticed the contrast in the colors of their skin.

“It wasn’t an issue,” he recalls after three decades with his wife, Jody. “We weren’t brought up to see people that way.” Not everyone in his rural community agreed, however. In fact, Greg remembers the first times he noticed heads shaking indisapproval at him as a Black man with a white woman. Suddenly, he couldn’t get the issue off of his mind. “When we would go out, Jody would caution me, ‘Why do you keep looking over your shoulder?’” said Greg. “I would say, ‘You just never know.’”

Greg and Jody grew up worshipping and associating with a diverse group of people in their congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Neither their families nor their fellow congregants were surprised when they began to date and later married.

Debi and Mike Ice, also Jehovah’s Witnesses, said they try to rely on Bible principles to help them react calmly when they face prejudice. “If you go out of your way to be kind and try and see life from their perspective even if you don’t agree, on some level you can understand,” said Debi Ice. “ And if you can understand a person then that’s the first step in creating peace... If you see that they’re not going to be peaceable, having an exit strategy mentally, emotionally... physically and verbally, just quitting before it gets heated,” reasons Debi.

Advice from the Bible and open communication have enabled Debi and Mike to remain united during their 13 years of marriage. They also use JW Library (a free app designed for Bible study) to consider articles that help them as a couple. Mike observes, “When you are dealing with problems, having Jehovah’s standards by which to live, instead of your marriage being a roller coaster, it’s small bumps and hills...”

According to a study conducted by the University of Utah, married couples who had shared values reported higher levels of marital happiness and individual well-being than those who did not.

The Watsons, mentioned earlier, agree that love, loyalty and faith are among the shared values on which they base their marriage and family life. They credit daily Bible reading and prayer with helping them to communicate on a deeper level with one another, especially when differences of opinion come into play.

“When you have differences,” said Jody. “You have a base to go back to—God’s standards.” Greg agreed: “Our cohesiveness has been our faith and applying principles. In the Bible, it said that God made the two one, and we take that very seriously.”

Now retired and with no children at home, the Watsons hike, bike and spend time in a volunteer ministry with each other.

“We spend all of our time together,” Greg said. “Things just seem to be getting better and better.”

More information on the activities of Jehovah’s Witnesses, including resources for happy family life, can be found on their official website, www.jw.org.