Turkey Horror Stories from Us and You

I was 20 when I attempted to cook my first Thanksgiving turkey. A newly-married Army wife, I not only had no idea what I was doing, but also had to do so in a foreign country. I suppose everything could have gone well. I called my mom and asked her how long to cook it. But I did not consider the fatal flaw that is common in many a turkey disaster story - defrosting the turkey. It's the night before the big day, every single soldier within a mile (it seemed) was coming to our house and the bird was frozen solid.

Two starry-eyed 20-somethings decided to defrost the turkey in the oven. Which would have been fine...had we not fallen asleep before turning that oven off. When we awoke to a home filled with smoke and opened the oven, there was a black, Cornish-hen sized turkey where the giant, frozen bird once sat.

We found another turkey (on the day of Thanksgiving, in a foreign country), paid way too much for it, defrosted it the right way and fed many a single soldier who was far from home.

My Joliet Patch co-editor's story is not much different. She, too was one-upped by a frozen bird. Karen Sorensen was feeding a small group of people.

"I had a small Thanksgiving for like 4 people," she said. "I was thawing (the turkey) out in the sink, which I've since found out you're not supposed to do."

Then, much like my story, tired from a full week of work, she fell asleep. When she awoke, not only was the turkey defrosted, it was warm.

"I was afraid to touch the water," she said. "The whole centerpiece of your meal is gone."

In a panic, she rushed to the grocery store to find only more frozen birds. Desperate, she opted for turkey breasts. And defrosted them in the microwave.

"We just ate side dishes the whole meal," she said.

The turkey was rubbery and dry and fairly inedible, but her family kept saying it was good. Now, though, years later, it is a tradition to talk about that year.

"It is the annual telling of the rubber turkey story," Sorensen said.

We asked you, our readers, to tell us your stories through our Facebook page. Here is what you said:

• A reader named Laura saw her prized and perfectly cooked bird stolen by her dog.
• Michelle broke the oven light while basting the turkey, creating a broken glass disaster in the turkey and sweet potatoes.
• A reader named Staci relied a little too much on that little button. It never popped and they overcooked the bird by about three hours.
• A family member of Jacki's undercooked the bird, which meant that each diner had to microwave their slices of turkey to eat them.
• Lori tried to fix a squeaky oven door with a bath oil product, causing a smokey disaster in her kitchen. They found the bright side and cooked the turkey the next day
• Carrie also found a brightside with a faulty oven. They finished cooking the turkey next door and she remembers it as the best Thanksgiving ever.

There are places that can help first-time cooks or turkey fryers to avoid disaster. Every year, Butterball hosts a hotline (1-800-BUTTERBALL) for turkey questions. They are available by phone weekdays between 8 a.m and 6 p.m. On Thanksgiving Day, the experts will be fielding calls from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. You can read more about that resource, including the ability to ask questions via Twitter or the Web, by clicking here.