Drew Peterson, Tattoo Face Kiddie Porn Guy, the Little Killer & Much, Much More: The Faces of 2016

Now is the time for everyone to look back on the year that’s ending, to celebrate the accomplishments of great men and women, to remember moments that will alter the course of history. And that’s all fine. But what about the real 2016?

The real 2016 is right here, in all of these faces from 16 stories out of the 16th year of our 21st century. Behold.

Now is the time for everyone to look back on the year that’s ending, to celebrate the accomplishments of great men and women, to remember moments that will alter the course of history. And that’s all fine. But what about the real 2016? The real 2016 is right here, in all of these faces from 16 stories out of the 16th year of our 21st century. Behold.

Tattoo Face Kiddie Porn Guy

Andrew Castro told detectives he planned to kidnap, rape and kill a baby, and to also murder the child’s mother. One of the detectives said he believes God sent him to Castro’s home to take him into custody. The judge still let Castro off with probation.

Big Baby New Year

Has it been a year already? Alexander Cook didn’t exactly put his best foot forward in 2016. Ringing in the New Year at Skooter’s in Shorewood, he wanted to get the bartender’s attention and decided the best way to go about that was to throw a beer bottle at his head. Cook missed. He also went to jail.

Cambodian Match Faker

Sayannee Kim assured a former co-worker who was looking to get married that she could find him a bride from Cambodia. The Naperville man shelled out nearly $40,000 for the arranged the marriage and for a while it looked like an OK deal. Until it turned out the bride-to-be didn’t actually exist.

Little Killer

When he was locked up on a murder case, Daeviontae Pruitte was recorded in telephone conversations referring to himself as the “killer” and the “little killer.” The judge still found Pruitte not guilty and he got out of jail. Not even a year later, Pruitte was arrested for allegedly stealing a cell phone. While he was in jail for that, the Little Killer was charged with trying to kill somebody else. He’s still in jail.

Drew Peterson Vs. The Beast

Drew Peterson was put on trial for supposedly trying to orchestrate the murder of Will County State’s Attorney James Glasgow from behind the walls of Menard Correctional Center. The prosecution’s big witness was a prison snitch named Antonio “Beast” Smith, who wore a wire to record hours of conversations with Peterson. In all those long talks, Peterson never asked to have Glasgow killed. The jury still found him guilty. And then he got more time for supposedly talking about having Glasgow killed than he did for actually killing his third wife, Kathleen Savio.

Miley Cyrus Boys

The last two Miley Cyrus Boys were found guilty after trials in 2016. Daniel Lahey put his fate in the hands of a jury. Robert Krapil left it up to a judge. The pivotal witness was Donnie Rice, the stepfather of Lety’s Place bartender Danielle McCalla. Rice spoke up when he saw a man hit with an unprovoked punch and then viciously kicked and stomped after he slumped to the barroom floor, telling the attackers, “That’s enough. You two are a piece of s---.” Rice said the Miley Cyrus Boys then went after him.

City Councilman Slapper

A city councilman walks into a bar. He gets slapped in the face and his nose bleeds all over his shirt. The guy who did it — real estate broker Mark Koenig — only gets charged with shouting and pointing at him. Even though video released by the city clearly shows Koenig hauling off and hitting Councilman Larry Hug at least three times. Koenig pleads guilty and pays $500. What?

Loudmouth Lady

The judge warned Brittany Hutcheson, but she just kept talking anyway. And then she went to jail.

Drug Court Poster Child

She was a smashing success story, the poster child for the Will County State’s Attorney’s special drug court program. Not only did Elizabeth Johnson graduate, she went to law school and got a job at the state’s attorney’s office. After she left, she ran for Grundy County State’s Attorney. She lost in the primary. Then she was charged with fleeing the scene of an accident after allegedly bragging about being a lawyer. And then she got caught with pot after she resisted arrest when her boyfriend called the cops because she wouldn’t go away, police said. And then she skipped court. And then she got into even more trouble.

Bloody Underwear Inmate

Scott Talbert claims there was blood in his jail-issued underwear and that when he asked for some bloodless undergarments (a reasonable request), a guard turned him down, essentially explaining that it was his problem. So Talbert sued the sheriff and the county jail.

Spiteful Sex Video Ex

How do you win back a lady’s heart when she leaves you? You send her dad a video of you having sex with her. Wait, no. That’s a terrible idea. But Nicholas Jocius didn’t figure that out until it was too late.

Cop-Hater Says She Just Wanted Help

Darla Waldrop admits she hates cops and that she told them so. But she denies threatening to blow the head off one, which is what they charged her with. Waldrop said she only called the cops in the first place because she had been sexually assaulted, and that they were of no help, that they “treated (her) like crap” and “looked down at” her.

The Wardog

Michael “Wardog” Reid was a mixed martial arts fighter and bouncer at Skooter’s Roadhouse when he and a man identified as either his stepbrother or half brother got into it with a couple guys in the parking lot after closing time, according to police. Then they followed the men to a nearby Burger King, police said, and nearly beat one of them to death.

He’s No. 1

You know what it takes to be the state’s No. 1 most wanted fugitive? You can start by allegedly punching a man in the face outside a grocery store, then breaking a window and damaging furniture at tax preparation business, vandalizing a woman’s Chevy Blazer, and finally pulling down your boxer shorts, to expose yourself and arouse or satisfy your sexual desire. Then, of course, you have to take off and lie low. At least that’s how it worked out for Sidney J. Moore-Walters, according to the police. He made it all the way to the top.

Private (Parts) Crack Stash

This is Jessie Robinson. The police said they caught her with 45 crack rocks in her vagina. That sounds like a lot.

15 Minutes of Facebook Fame

Ambrea Otte and Nicholas Keto both got arrested in 2016. And they both went on Facebook to let all their friends know about it as they were taken into custody. Just moments before she was hauled off to the county jail, Otte managed to post, “Getting held and booked for loving my kids too much. Karma is going to hit this piece of s--- so hard. Can’t wait to finally be done with this abusive, homosexual disgrace.” Keto put up two posts before he was taken away, saying, “Going to jail” and “I f---d up they taking my fone.”