"Beat a Cyberbully: Here’s How Parents Can Help"

While remote learning during the COVID-19 pandemic lowered reported instances of bullying, parents fear that, for some students, going back to school will mean going back to being bullied.

“With social media and texting, cyberbullying is definitely a concern, even when they are not inside the school walls,” said Larry White of his family of five in Hammond, Indiana.

Now 15 years after the inception of National Bullying Prevention Month in October, technology’s ever-greater presence in children’s lives has given bullying a new outlet. With just a click, cyberbullies can taunt, harass and threaten relentlessly, even reaching into the home via cellphone or computer. As a result, victims report feeling hopeless, isolated and even suicidal.

What can parents do to protect their kids? Taking an interest in their children’s online world can make a difference, says the National Parent Teacher Association.

This interest does not necessarily require parents to become tech experts. Instead, the federal stopbullying.gov site advises parents to watch for subtle clues that something is wrong, such as their child becoming withdrawn, hiding their screen when others are nearby or reacting emotionally to what’s happening on their device.

For Larry and his wife, Bianca, that has meant being alert and identifying any changes in the behavior of their sons, ages 17 and 14, and their daughter, age 21.

“My wife is a great communicator with the children and at times keenly aware that their mood may be a little bit off,” explained Larry. “Sometimes as a father, I may overlook it, but she will lovingly remind me to ask questions to ascertain why they are feeling a certain way.”

Talking with kids openly — and often — helps too. “The more you talk to your children about bullying, the more comfortable they will be telling you if they see or experience it,” UNICEF says in its online tips for parents.

As their children have grown, the White parents have found that talking less and listening more works best. “By being patient listeners, we have established open lines of communication throughout the years,” said Larry.

“We have tried to instill in them confidence that they have a support system in us,” added Bianca. “So if something is wrong, they can talk to us and we will do everything we can to help the situation.”

Beyond talking, listening and observing their kids, parents shouldn’t be afraid to make and enforce rules for online activities, experts say.

The White family places their electronic devices in a designated spot by 10 p.m. and the Wi-Fi router automatically shuts off. “Our children have not put up resistance to our efforts to protect them,” explained Larry. “They cooperate because they understand there are benefits to these safeguards.”

The Whites admit that it is a challenge to balance privacy with freedom as the children have gotten older. “We have to make adjustments according to their ages, because the goal is to empower them to be fully competent, capable adults,” expressed Larry.

The White family cited the tips and reminders they’ve considered together with their kids from free resources available on jw.org, the official website of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

The White’s oldest son especially appreciated the suggestions from one of the site’s short animated videos, “Beat a Bully Without Using Your Fists.”

“It is not normal to be bullied and it’s not okay. If that starts happening, reach out to someone you trust, like your parents, and talk to them,” he said. “You cannot take this on by yourself.”