Community Corner
Best of the Best of Craigslist: Vampires Seeking Friends, The Greatest Bicycle on Earth and More
A look back at recent Craigslist posts.
Is there a better way to spend the Fourth of July weekend than mocking the desperate posts of Craigslist's past? Probably, but who can resist. Here is a round up of recent Craigslist posts by Beth Dalbey.
While tiptoeing around the Patches on Craigslist – and tiptoe is the correct verb because there are big piles of nasty buried under innocuous sounding subject lines that are best avoided – it was unsettling to discover lingering doubt over whether there are creepers lurking on the site.
Doh!
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As the object of some unknown Craigslist poster’s desire, this woman cleared it up nicely:
“Everyone,” she writes (and can’t you just hear the exasperated tone?), “... it’s creepy that someone who comes into my work posted about me on Craigslist and used my name! Like I want a bunch of weirdos stopping to see who this girl is!! … This world is full of crazies and I would never respond to a post about me!”
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From Satire an Art Lost on People Who Post on Craigslist? Or a…
Around the Patches
Nurse, nurse! He’s got the fever in Ankeny.
In Waukee, is the tongue ring merely ornamental?
In Urbandale, a cute convenience store clerk is a day-brightener.
In Johnston, everything was fine until that old dude walked in. Also, were you making eyes with someone at the Mopar show? Finally, this guy’s looking for his wife in Johnston and wants to know if she wants to meet up for a shake.
This doesn’t seem quite right. A free haircut in general seems to be a bad idea. Cheap haircuts often are. Patch got one once and looked like she’d had a nasty fight with a Weed Wacker and lost.
Is that what happened here?
Oh, grab a paper sack, stop your hyper-ventilating and calm yourself down. It’s only a bicycle.
OK, it's not just any bicycle. It’s allegedly the greatest bicycle the greatest city on Earth, the greatest of the great planets in the universe, except possibly Uranus, because that’s how humor rolls on Craigslist.
Seriously, this is stinking genuis:
“What makes this bike so much better than every other bike that has ever been pedaled? Glad you asked. It starts with the paint scheme. It looks like Iron Man if Iron Man were a bike. That's bold, son. Curb appeal.
Do you believe in vampires?
This is not a joke. Sure, right. And Craigslist is a great place to find dates. If you believe that, you believe in vampires, too.
But before we wade up to our eyballs into all that Craigslist angst, there’s more:
Americans love their pets and spend millions of dollars annually on their comfort and well-being.
Well, most of us, anyway.
Are you a cat whisperer? Patch, living with her own devilish cat, knows a bit about this. Hang tight. She’ll get nicer in 10 to 12 years.
More Animal News
In Perry, a “jerk cat” mauled a mother squirrel. It’s in triage on someone’s front porch, but the nest is too high to return it to its little ones. Ideas?
Does your pet have a Facebook page? If so, do they need friends?
Someone in Ankeny wants a hedgehog.
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