A Mom's Perspective on Going Back to School

I will be the first to admit that, when it comes to my kids, I get emotional.

I honestly don't know how you can be a mom and not get a little weepy, especially when your babies reach milestone moments like going to school. Seriously, you spend so much time, emotion, energy and effort on raising your children - preparing them to be able to go out into the world to tackle the big stuff - how could you not feel intense joy or pride when they finally do?

Sure, I talk a good game, but last year at this time, I could hardly put two words together after the first day of school. That's because last year, I was the mom of a kindergartner.

The kindergarten parents...you can spot them - especially the moms - a mile away from the drop-off lane. The moms are usually in tears, fussing with their child's hair, buttoning last-minute buttons, tying the untied shoelaces, all as a distraction from the real task at hand - letting go.

Last year outside the school, standing among scores of other parents with my 5-year-old close by, searching the crowd for the teacher who would be my replacement for the year, I sobbed. Like big, ugly, could-hardly-take-a-breath sobs. Even when my daughter, who was far more ready to make the transition than I was, turned her back and practically skipped her way to the front door, all I could see was my "baby" leaving me behind.

I struggled that week last year. It wasn't until the second week of school when I finally came to grips with the fact that my oldest was, in fact, a "big girl," not a "baby," and there was no changing that.

This morning, as I fumbled with the lens cap on my camera to snap the requisite "first day of school" pictures, I looked back on last year and laughed. What a sad sight that was! This year would be different, I told myself.

And it was. No tears, no weepy good-byes. Yes, my daughter still practically skipped to the door of the school, but I wasn't upset by it. I was happy. I smiled. I felt buoyant and proud, all things a good parent should feel when they finally learn to let go.