Moms Talk Q&A

Welcome to Moms Talk Q&A! This week's question:

My 3 year old is very disobedient. She refuses to listen and obey me and my husband. I am finding that I am losing my cool more often than not. Do you have any tips on how I can get my daughter to listen and how I can control my temper?

Angee Fielder:

Three is a very interesting age. This is an age of exploration and a time when little ones are gaining and showing independence. Instead of losing your cool try walking into another room and giving yourself a time out. When it comes to getting your little one to listen and obey consider the toys, activities and things that she enjoys the most. Many times when you take away that item or activity your child will begin to take you more serious when it comes to discipline and consequences of not listening.  Hope this helps.

Jennifer Davis:

Your daughter is probably not trying to push your buttons, 3 year olds are easily distracted and she is trying to become a little bit more independent.  Maybe by looking at things that way it may reassure you that you aren't the only parent going through this.   I know it can be extremely trying, but remove yourself if you can for a minute and rely on the count to ten method and take a few deep breaths.  Also, make sure you don't scream at your daughter this will only lead to a power struggle of "who can yell louder".  Make sure you get to her eye level and speak in a meaningful way; this in the long wrong is teaching her great manners.  Also, parents tend to comment more so on negative behavior then reiterating the positive behavior. Make sure when your daughter does listen to show her positive reinforcement.  Remember this to shall pass, but also make sure your punishments are consistent with time outs or taking a special toy away, and by not giving in, or she will know how to push your buttons; if you give in. I hope this helps.

Terri Peters:

So many times, my answer to similar questions has been to remain consistent with your discipline.  Yes, it's frustrating and at times difficult, but the best thing you can do is to set rules and consequences and stick to them all the time, even when it's inconvenient or it seems easier to just let things go.  One of the main ways I maintain my sanity and keep from losing my temper with my two little ones is to have set rules, and a set plan of action if those rules are broken.  My discipline never changes, whether I am at home, in a store, or having lunch in a restaurant.  My kids know what to expect when they behave a certain way, and I feel like I really have a handle on the situation because I know how I am going to react every, single time they disobey or test me.