Moms Talk Q&A

Welcome to Moms Talk Q&A! This week's question:

My five year old is driving me nuts with the incessant whining.  Do you have any tips on how I can stop his whining without losing my cool?

Angee Fielder:

Believe it or not, whining is actually normal.  While it can be completely annoying it is something that many children do.  I’m sure your initial reaction may be to growl out the words to “stop it”, try to negotiate or get angry, there are a few things that you can do that will actually urge your kid to cut down on the whining.  My suggestion is to change how you respond to the whining by doing the opposite of what you would normally do.  For example if you usually acknowledge the whining, change it up a bit and don’t acknowledge it.  Whatever you do, try not to feed the whining with a negative reaction.  Take a positive approach and get action oriented.  Hope this helps.

Terri Peters:

As a mom who is being driven to near breaking-point by a whiny 3-year-old, I can completely sympathize.  Some things we've been trying are to refuse to grant his requests if they are made in a whining voice, and to allow him to spend time hanging out with family friends who have older kids.  When we do things with this couple and their three boys, I constantly point out to my son how they speak like big kids and they do not use whining voices.  I'm really beside myself and have no idea what to do - but these are my current tactics!  Good luck!

Jennifer Davis:

Most children whine to get out their frustration so this is perfectly normal. One mistake many parents make is to give into the whining and I admit I have been guilty of this myself, but I try my best not too. You have to let your 5 year old know this is not acceptable behavior and just reinforce the positive behaviors your 5 year old is displaying. The key is to be consistent and try your best to ignore the whining and give lots of praise for good behavior. Remember to always remain calm, count to 10, leave the room if you are able or ask your spouse, grandparent or friend to step in if you feel like you are going to lose your cool. If need be make up a no-whine chart and give your child stickers for each day he or she doesn't whine and maybe after so many days reward them. Hope this helps.