No Tipping Required

Part four in the blog series:

When you have cancer, chances are, you don't even know, because sometimes, there are no symptoms. This to me, is why chemo was worse than cancer itself.

There is no ignoring the therapy that you are receiving because symptoms abound!

Each person's side effects are different, even if we are together in the same room. There are never any good ones either. G-d forbid, chemo could reduce wrinkles or give you a trainer's body.

One Thursday, I called my oncologist and asked if I could come in. When I got there, I looked at him and said, "I can't do this anymore, I'm done." He looked at me and said, "I'll see you Monday." I said, "I'll see you Monday." I just wanted someone who truly understood what I was going through to hear me out, and know that this wasn't fun anymore.

The bone pain was excruciating, the numbness, the fatigue, everything was getting to me. Some mornings it would take me twenty minutes to come down the steps in my house.

As chemo went on, chemo brain was not far behind, I would grasp for words, still do, I have also been known to walk out of my house with two different shoes on. A real trendsetter, I am!

I am one who hates noise. The machines beeping, it was hot, I was hot, it was cold, I was cold. The televisions all on different stations. I could hear other patients getting sick, I could smell their food. Visitors were talking. I know they were trying to be supportive, but their support annoyed me. All of this combined noise sounded like the Grand Central Station for chemo treatments.

All of us know that patience is a virtue, and one, that I don't have much of. However, I became a stunning role model for patience during this time because, chemo or the process itself, can't be rushed.

As the bags began to empty, I had a relief/apprehension feeling at the same time. Relief because the session was ending and apprehension because of the impending bone pain and fatigue that would or would not begin soon.

As soon as I was given Benadryl, I would be knocked out for a few hours. When I woke up, Mary and I would compare mouth sores, become hairstylists while fixing each others wigs, and make up artists as we put our eyebrows back on.

Some days, I was so pumped up from the steroids, I would walk around the room like I was a top fashion model walking the runway for New York fashion week, modeling my IV bags.

tbc

As we approach breast cancer awareness month, please make your mammogram appointments, keep in mind, more men are getting breast cancer than ever before.

And always, #findthefinnyinthenotsofunny it helps in bad situations to find some humor.

tbc

connect with me at:

email- bkdp01@gmail.com

Facebook page- Make Mine A Double, A Mastectomy That Is

Twitter @bethkaufman 3