Five Things: Ideas for Last-Minute Stupid Cupids

OK, so you’re sitting there at work with that clueless look on your face.

The lunch hour just passed and all you did was Google search for last-minute Valentine’s gift ideas.

Suddenly, lunch is up. You’re screwed.

If you get home 10 minutes late, they’ll know you were a last-minute gift-buyer.

Heading out after work without a plan is only going to prolong the process.

We’ll give you five different plans to choose from. If you’re good, you’ll do them all.

Some are practical, some you should have already thought of, one might get you thrown out of the house, depending on how good your significant other’s sense of humor might be.

For those stuck without a plan, here are five ideas better than whatever you’ve done so far:

5. Check in at and for leftovers. Both will be  madhouses, undoubtedly. Don’t roll in at 4:55 expecting to be able to get out of there and back home by 5 p.m. without getting busted. Give yourself some time, which you obviously haven’t been able to do up until this point.

4. Rummage around at and cook dinner. Cheap, relatively easy, and often viewed as thoughtful and heartfelt. Only, I wouldn’t advise a frozen pizza. Try something fun. Pasta is a safe bet if you’re afraid you’re more likely to burn down the house than create a romantic feast.

3. Restaurant gift certificate. We have them all listed here. You can’t go wrong with restaurants in Havre de Grace. There are plenty to choose from in Aberdeen and Bel Air, too, if you’re reading this at work and pulling your hair out trying to figure out how Feb. 14 got here so fast.

2. A Patch announcement. You can post announcements here. Just pick a category. You can announce your engagement if you’re up to big plans tonight. Or you can thank your loved one for putting up with your cheesy, public, last-minute gift.

1. Carbon monoxide detector. Why not get a jump-start on everyone else? In less than 40 days, they more than likely will be required in your residence if you live within city limits. Nothing says "I love you" like a Walmart plastic bag bursting with a receipt and bestowing your loved one with a life-protecting device. Walmart.com has them listed for less than $18.

(If you're too stressed to catch the sarcasm in that last one, and you think it's as good as a stand-alone gift as the legislation was as a stand-alone ordinance, stop for a minute. You may want to couple that No. 1 with one of the other items listed in Nos. 2-5.)

Now, get to work.

Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day!