Neighbor News
Helicopter Parents
Hovering over our child or solving their problems may make us feel like a better parent, but in reality, we are doing just the opposite.
By Susan Kurlander, M.Ed.
I felt it was my responsibility to call my neighbor when my teenage daughter was late for her babysitting obligation even though she was the one who accepted the job. My daughter had slept at a friend’s house and was supposed to be dropped off in time to watch the two children next door. Where was she, or even more concerning, why was she being irresponsible? I needed to offer my availability if necessary.
How surprised and embarrassed I was to find out that my daughter had already called our neighbor to explain the situation and to make sure her lateness wasn’t causing a problem. She was not happy to find out that I had stepped in unnecessarily.
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I told myself that my intent was to be helpful, however, the impact wound up undermining my daughter’s ability to solve a problem on her own in a mature and responsible way. Although I didn’t know it at the time, I had become a helicopter parent in this situation. I had acted in an “overprotective or excessively interested way in the life of my child.”
Fortunately, I very quickly recognized the consequences of this type of parenting.