What Is ‘Toxic’? Who Is ‘Toxic’? (Opinion)

I GET THE BIGGEST KICK out of people telling me to get toxic people out of my life. What is toxic? Sure, there are – let’s just call them ‘jerks’ – whose lives are so miserable that they suck the life force out of everyone around them. These are the ‘takers’ who never give. And there are those whose sole purpose in life is to spread misery wherever they go and to as many people as possible.

And isn’t it sometimes the case that, in an attempt to warn you about toxic people, the person doing the warning becomes a little – or a lot – toxic themselves. They start ranting, even screaming. (As is usually the case, alcohol is a factor.) They speak as if they’re the voice of Gd. And they eventually reveal themselves as they exhort you to violence. “If you come across a toxic person, punch ‘em.”

Sometimes, someone is just having a bad day, even a bad week. Maybe that so-called toxic person is lashing out the only way they can. Perhaps they’re dealing with a truly toxic person who they cannot confront, and their own toxicity is a cry for help. Who knows?

There is a faint sense of “How can this person help me?” in the concept of surrounding yourself with people who can lift you up. You should take all people as they come, and sort them out as you go along. If they are truly toxic, they will reveal themselves straight away. If they’re ‘injustice collectors’, you’ll find out soon enough. And if they’re ‘takers’, it will take them no time to ask for a ‘favor’.

But most people who are labelled 'toxic' just need someone to listen to. Maybe they’re feeling alone and isolated, and you are one of their few links to other human beings. Give them a few minutes or an hour or an afternoon of your time.

And if anyone rants about ‘toxic people’ or tells you to ‘get them out of your life’, take a closer look at the speaker. Chances are they’re one of your social media pals who is always complaining. They’re the ones of whom you say, “Let’s go on so-and-so’s page and see what they’re kvetching about now.”

"Physician, heal thyself."

~ End ~