Gay Pastor on DOMA: There's Nothing Un-Christian About Gay Marriage

As church bells rang across the country in recognition of the dismissal of Prop 8, the celebration was especially meaning for one Marlborough Pastor.

“For me, both as a minister and a gay man, it is very important because it is my life,” said First Church of Marlborough Pastor Kaz Bem of the decision. “We should be able to treat people equally.”

The news spread over social media and through other pastors as churches rang their bells Wednesday morning after the decision to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act, which barred the federal government from recognizing the married status of gay couples. The decision provided an opportunity for churches to celebrate while reminding everyone that they are there to minister to anyone, said Bem.

“We love the idea that the national cathedral is peeling at noon,” he said. “It says to people we are here and we love you and we accept you and we would love to be on this journey with you and just because you had horrible experiences as a child it doesn’t have to be like that.”

The church’s bells are not operational, but a joyful peeling of bells happened on the church’s website at noon to mark the decision.

“It is just such a wonderful occasion,” said Bem. “There’s a growing acceptance.”

Among his parishioners in Marlborough, the pastor has seen a growing openness to discussing the issue.

“This is something that I think society and church members are coming more and more to accept,” said Bem. “In private conversations they will tell me about their nephews, their nieces, and their grandchildren ... how they are gay or lesbian but there is a lot more comfort talking about this issue.”

When asked what he would say to people who did not agree with the ruling, Bem addressed it from two perspectives. From his previous life as a lawyer, he pointed out that gay marriage does not harm anyone not involved in the marriage. 

“The fact that two gay people or two lesbians are married does not injure you,” he said.

As a minister, he highlighted the importance of living a full life and how marriage and the lifestyle that follows facilitates this.

“God wants flourishing and God wants people to live an abundant life,” said Bem. “I would just say that civil marriage equality is about families being recognized by the state and their children being recognized. There is nothing unchristian in that.”