Tackling the Big Talk

There's all types of topics that are hard to discuss with kids: drugs, murder, war, racism. And then there's the big talk: Sex.

I'll never forget when my oldest daughter asked me how babies were made. She was four years old and, gratefully, we were in the car so she couldn't see the pained look on my face. Since I come from a family of biologists, I launched into my best biologist immitation and gave her the rundown. At the time, that sufficed, either because she was satisfied with the information or because she decided I was totally nuts and needed to go somewhere else to get the goods.

Telling a four year old how babies are made is not the same as talking about the ins and outs of sexual behavior with an older child—one who, like it or not, will be embarking on such activities sooner or later. The going rule for talking about where babies come from with little kids is "when they ask." Older kids aren't as likely to ask the questions that they have, but that doesn't mean they don't want to know, and it certainly doesn't mean they don't need to know.

So today we ask a tough question of you moms and dads out there. When do we talk to our kids about sex? Any great books to suggest? Is there a place, like the car, where these tough conversations come a little easier? And finally, any funny, embarrassing, intense stories to share?