"Ben Speaks" Will Be at Blake Middle School on Friday

After her son Ben took his own life in 2009 at age 18, his mother Judy Giovangelo of Medway, set out to help teens deal with the hardships of growing up without resorting to reckless behavior. Her organization is called Ben Speaks. 

Thanks to a group of Medfield eighth graders, Giovangelo will speak to Blake Middle School students on Friday. 

Lily Doctoroff and her Destination Imagination team suggested the presentation to Blake administrators.

Even though we are a tight-knit community here in Medfield, there are still kids suffering with bullies and harassment and I don't believe any child should have to endure that. "Ben Speaks" clearly portrays that message and I'm proud to be part of it.

To raise awareness, the DI Team -- named “Bigger Than Bullying” -- sold latex bracelets to Blake students during lunch with the message “I Am Bigger Than Bullying” to help pay for the presentation. The Medfield Coalition for Public Education (MCPE) also helped fund the project.

Parents had a chance to preview the program, which will be presented at different grade-level assemblies on Friday, earlier this week.

Giovangelo started the presentation with her personal story which included a traumatic childhood of near-death tornadoes and floods, moves, parental divorce leaving her single mother with five kids, eventually leading to her use of drugs and dropping out of high school.

Eventually, she gained control of her life, got her GED and a secretarial degree, moved to Boston, got married at 27, and had three kids.

Enter Ben.

Giovangelo said her middle child suffered from mental illness which went undetected for many years and put him in a downward spiral.

She said he was bullied and harassed for being "different" and bounced between different schools (and homeschooling) ultimately finding his "niche" back at Medway High School where he finally felt accepted.

He had passed the MCAS and was excited about the junior prom until April 16, 2009. On that day, his mother says, he arrived at school with the smell of marijuana on his clothes. Gioangelo had warned Ben several times that the drug was dangerous. After administrators searched his car and found paraphernalia and drugs (a pipe and half a joint) in his car, he was told he could not attend the Prom.

His father picked him up from school and dropped him off at home. When his mother arrived home 30 minutes later, he was dead.

"My son, Ben, was emotionally triggered in that moment in a way that I cannot even imagine," Gioangelo said.

The theme of 'Ben Speaks' is, "We all want the same thing: To be loved and accepted for who we are."

She told parents, and will tell students on Friday, that:

Everyone, including our children, are 100% responsible for our individual thoughts, words, feelings, actions and reactions and reminds us that we are the creators of our own experience bringing positive tools for change.

She talked about the power of positive thought and positive energy, and the need for adults to be part of the change by steering away from a "competitive-based childhood" which, she says, leads to aggressive behaviour and does not serve children well once they leave the safety of their childhood community.

"I think your kids should not have perfect lives because life is not perfect," she said. "Teach them how to manage their energy and their feelings, don't mask their feelings with [prescription] drugs, find some other tools. There are lots of ways to help kids manage their emotions."

The engaging presentation included exercises to show the power of positive versus negative thinking, and the Ben Speaks Pledge.

After Friday's presentation, students will return to their Advisory periods where they can ask questions and engage in a Ben Speaks art project wherein they write an intention, goal, or who you want to be on a hand template, and then write an action on the foot template.

Editor's Note: You may have noticed several hand and foot cutouts on the purple house on Route 109 in Medway, that is the Gioangelos' home.

Students will also be asked to enter a "Bigger Than Bullying" Poster Contest which runs until September 20. The winning entry will be featured on their print materials.

Principal Nathaniel Vaughn told parents the presentation was timely with the end of school right around the corner.

"Summer can be a really challenging time of year for some kids [and] this can help bring awareness in," Vaughn said.

After the parent presentation on Tuesday, Patch caught up with the parent of a seventh grader who had this to say:

She was a very engaging speaker who has impressively beat the odds in her own life and is spreading a great message of loving and accepting yourself first and staying positive in all situations or challenges in life.  Also, I do believe our society throws medications and labels at too many of our youth and there are many more and likely better approaches to consider when working with complex personalities and behaviors. 

 To learn more about the program, visit www.BenSpeaks.org.