Can a Kindergartner Be a Bully?

Welcome to Moms Talk, a weekly feature on Medford Patch where local parents discuss a hot-button issue. Let's jump right in with this weeks question:

Can a kindergartner be a bully? In kindergarten and preschool, what is inappropriate acting out and what are actions with malicious intent?

Maria Alcindor: Bullying is definitely present in kindergarten and preschool. 

Most commonly I've seen it in the physical form on the playground.  Being pushed off playground equipment or not allowing another to use the equipment.  I believe at these young ages it comes from an acceptance in their environment. 

When it has been mentioned to parents, they always seem "shocked" or think it is something that kids just "do." Well -- preschoolers and kindergartners understand empathy. The parents should look into why their children are behaving in such a way before they turn into the child that nobody likes.

Maria Alcindor has resided in Medford for 5 years, she has a 3-year-old son.

Nancy Quinn: Honestly, I don't know. I certainly hope not.

I think at this age they still emanate, copy others. If they are being cruel to other children it is most likely because they see it happening around them -- or it is happening to them in another setting.

At my daughter's Pre-K, the teachers take any behavior that borders on bullying very seriously. They deal with it well. They make the child understand this behavior is not acceptable and exclude them from a fun activity as well. At this age, this method works very well and there have not been any repeat offenders.

Nancy has been a Medford resident for 7 years. She has two kids - 4 years and 21 months.

Tiffany Reevior: I think it's hard to ascribe "malicious intent" to a preschooler, or even a kindergartner. What I have realized recently is how many children need extra help navigating social situations.

I know a number of children with sensory integration issues and on the Asperger's spectrum, for example, who have been labeled "bullies" or have difficulty making friends. These kids are not inherently bad children; they just need more help understanding social cues and behaving appropriately in social situations. Occupational and other therapies have made a tremendous difference for some of these children.

There are a range of issues that can lead children to act out.  Schools and parents need to be on top of these issues in the very early years and get children the help they need.  I think if we could focus on building appropriate social skills and empathy very early on, we could avoid a lot of bullying in later years.

Tiffany is mom to a 6-year-old and has lived in Medford since 2007.