PurplePTSD: Jim Harbaugh, Deshaun Watson To The Vikings, And More With Tom's Hot Takes

Press release from the PurplePTSD:

Tom Woldum

2022-02-02

It’s the time of year when champions are crowned and rumors fly. Time for some Hot Takes from Viking Land and across the NFL.

ITEM: Vikings Interview Jim Harbaugh

HOT TAKE:  I’ve been informed that Harbaugh owns a higher winning percentage as an NFL Head Coach (.695) than any current coach in the NFL. Scanning Pro Football Reference, I was disappointed to see that there is not yet an advanced metric that measures time spent whining on the sidelines. Throughout his time leading the San Francisco 49ers and the Michigan Wolverines, we’ve been treated to countless sideline shots of the man’s long face. As a Gopher football fan, and notwithstanding many more educated opinions to the contrary, I would be very much repulsed by the idea of a Big Two coach returning to the pros here in Minnesota and inevitably subjecting us all to another round of Winning Just Enough to Get Our Hopes Up.

ITEM: It’s the Rams versus the Bengals in Super Bowl LVI

HOT TAKE: Here’s a football veteran with Michigan connections that I can definitely root for: Matt Stafford, the long-suffering leader of the Detroit Lions, who found himself in La La Land and is now experiencing a career renaissance of Brady-esque proportions (minus any real previous success). The man has suffered long enough, and I couldn’t have been happier seeing him during a postgame interview following the NFC Championship Game, bubbling over with enthusiasm and joy, like the proverbial kid in the candy store.

Other interesting storylines I’ll look forward to on Super Bowl Sunday include watching Raheem Morris, one of seemingly dozens of reported finalists for the Vikings’ Head Coaching job, dial up the defensive pressure for the Rams in his current gig as DC, and getting another look at Cincinnati, the team that toppled the Vikes in overtime on Opening Day, setting the first domino to fall in our roller coaster 2021. At the time, Vikings fans felt a certain shame about that loss to the unknown quantity from Cincy. In hindsight, there’s no shame in losing in overtime to a Super Bowl team.

On the other hand, our loss to the Rams in late December, only a touchdown’s difference in a 30-23 defeat at home, with the Vikings putting up 381 offensive yards from scrimmage against L.A.’s 356, somehow felt more decisively in the Rams’ favor than the numbers indicated and seemed to point clearly to one team headed for better things and another doomed to spiral out of control.

ITEM: USA Today Reports the Vikings are the “Sleeper” pick to trade for Deshaun Watson

HOT TAKE: If this were to happen, I may find myself with a lot of extra free time on Sunday afternoons this fall. I’m all for the home team finding a way to upgrade their quarterback and add a run/pass QB of the highest caliber, but the day my team brings in a player who is facing 22 separate lawsuits for sexual misconduct against women, is the day I call it quits after a not-so-successful 50 year run as a loyal Vikings fan. The fact that the Texans’ asking price is rumored to be three first-round draft choices—and that there is purportedly a team or teams willing to pay that price—is absolutely stunning. The hope here is that this rumor is just that—a rumor. I’ll take the underachieving, overpaid, cap-space-hogger with a questionable Sleep Number over Watson any day of the week.

ITEM: Vikings name Kwesi Adofo-Mensah General Manager

HOT TAKE: If first impressions are accurate, the Vikings landed a winner. Adofo-Mensah won me over at his introductory press conference, sporting a bold purple tie and a sense of optimism and excitement at taking the reins. He made a strong impression—well-spoken, process-oriented, analytically-driven, loves his mother, a good sense of humor, and a great smile. He says all the right things. Now, all he has to do is do all the right things. No problem there, right?

ITEM: Sean Payton Informs the Saints That He’s Stepping Down

HOT TAKE: Good riddance.

ITEM: Tom Brady to Announce Retirement

HOT TAKE: I would have expected my reaction to this news to be similar to Sean Payton’s exit, though for different reasons. Payton wore out his welcome by being a jerk—a year’s suspension will never be enough for “Bountygate” –  a nasty stain on the NFL and a never-healing wound for the Vikings. In 2009 the Saints walked away with a tainted Super Bowl championship while the Vikings were deprived of their best chance in the past 20 years to reach the Super Bowl.

Brady, on the other hand, wore out his welcome by being so dominant, so perfect, and so thoroughly superior in his ability to reach Conference Championships (14), appear in Super Bowls (10 times) and win rings (seven) that all others in his shadow were forced to hate him and wallow in the shame of being so drastically inferior. For those of us following a team that hasn’t appeared in a Super Bowl in 50+ years, that kind of success feels too much like your rich annoying cousin complaining at Thanksgiving about the poor gas mileage on his Jag. Don’t need to hear it once. Don’t need to hear it every freaking year.

And yet, I found myself wistful at the news of Brady’s planned retirement. Coming on the same day that Rafael Nadal had won the Australian Open Tennis Championship for a record 21st Grand Slam title, I realized that success of that level, sustained for that long, may be tiresome for us sad sacks cheering for mediocre squads, but it’s also a privilege to have witnessed it as a sports fan. And when a player of that caliber whose greatest achievements were earned through longevity, there’s no denying that the end of such a career is also a signal of the passage of time. From here on out, we’ll just be telling our grandkids that yes, indeed, we saw Brady rack up those championships, and it left us in a state of severe annoyance and complete awe. For my money, the 14-10-7 trifecta are three records that will never be broken.

This press release was produced by the PurplePTSD. The views expressed here are the author’s own.