O'Fallon Moms Ask and Answer

Moms Talk is feature on O'Fallon Patch that is part an initiative on our Patch sites to reach out to local moms and families.

Each week in Moms Talk, our Moms Council of smart moms take your questions, ask their own, give advice and share solutions.

Last week's question:

Parenting is hard work and I sometimes lose my temper with my children.  What can I do to make sure that the lines of communication stay open, even when I get frustrated?

Moms Council Member 's Answer:

A friend of mine once told me that yelling at your children is the equivalent of a temper tantrum.  We've all had our children throw a temper tantrum and know that can be embarrassing and frustrating to endure.  They don't accomplish anything and you don't solve the problem.  That is probably what our kids think of us when we are yelling at them!

That being said anger and frustration are real emotions and need to be addressed. I personally have found the best way to deal with the anger and frustration of parenting is through exercise.  Exercise helps me to de-stress and be more prepared to handle the day-to-day trials of parenting.  That doesn't mean that I don't still get frustrated and lose my temper with my children, but I am able to control it better and recognize the symptoms before it gets into a full blown tantrum.  

Another great way to avoid losing your temper and keeping the communication open, is to put yourself in .  It is okay to tell your children that you are having a bad day and then excuse yourself to your room.  Maybe you can even set a timer so your children can see that you are creating equal time-out standards for the family.  This can create a dialouge between you and your children, too.  It will allow you to show them that anger and frustration will always happen in life and you can teach them how to deal with it in a healthy way, too. 

This week's question:

My daughter is in middle school and has acquired a new set of friends that don't make the smartest choices.  How do I show her that these friends are not the type of friends she should have, without pushing her away? 

Feel free to offer your suggestions in the comment space below!