St. Louis Ethical Society Offers Sunday School Without The Church

ST. LOUIS, MO — From the outside, you could be forgiven for mistaking the Ethical Society of St. Louis' meeting house for a church. There's even a steeple, though one that looks like it could have been designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. (It was actually designed by local architect Harris Armstrong, one of Wright's modernist disciples.)

But walk through the door, and you'll notice some key differences. The display on human evolution, for one, complete with replica Australopithecus skulls and reproductions of early human artifacts: bone flutes, cave paintings and a fertility goddess statue.

The display stands just next to a kids' lending library that houses scripture (Muslim, Christian, Jewish, Buddhist) alongside natural history texts and gender-inclusive story books.

Rachel Valenti, who runs the Ethical Society's Sunday Ethical Education for Kids program (read: Sunday school), says the Ethical Society offers programs for children of all ages (from "itty-bitty" to high schoolers) and for their families.

The Ethical Society of St. Louis is part of the American Ethical Union, one of many ethical societies across the country and one of the biggest. About 90 kids and their families are currently enrolled in the society's SEEK program, as it's known by its acronym. Parents and families take turns volunteering to co-teach classes alongside the society's full-time teaching staff, and lessons might range from story time for younger kids to discussions of race, gender and other "hot topics" for older kids and adolescents.

The program is divided into four groups: nursery/pre-school (birth to 5 years old), Elementary (K-6), Coming of Age (7th and 8th graders) and Youth Group (9th to 12th grade).

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"In the preschool group, they're learning that this is a safe place...that folks here care about them, know their names and want to play with them," said Valenti, who has a background in sociology and childhood development.

Class often starts with a story, she said, followed by activities to illustrate the lessons of the story. "We have fun books about families that have lots of dads...or how parents can look lots of different ways," Valenti explained, "so kids are practicing thinking flexibly right away. When we get to see ourselves represented in books like that, and have conversations about difference, we learn we're all different and we're pretty darn valuable. I think that's a good ethical lesson that we're teaching."

Valenti said taking care of the Earth is also a common theme of the books they read. "While those are not religious texts, they are, in a lot of ways, really similar to some religious texts that other kids their ages might be learning about in churches, mosques and synagogues elsewhere in St. Louis."

Older kids get to take field trips to visit those places, learning how others use religion as their compass, Valenti said, as they themselves start to re-examine their own ways of making meaning, including relationships with friends, parents, teachers and other authority figures.

"We all make meaning and we do it in different ways," she added.

Service projects are another big part of the curriculum, especially with middle- and high school-aged kids.

"As they get to know each other and learn what matters most to them and what breaks their hearts, they can think about what they're going to do about it," Valenti said.

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Michael Jones is the parent of a 5-year-old in the Ethical Society's pre-school program. His son, Axel, made it clear he's mostly there for the blow-up dinosaurs in the playroom — "He enjoys playing and being with the kids here," Jones said, "and we enjoy him having that time so that we can focus on the adult activities upstairs" — but Jones hopes the program's core values are getting through as well.

Those values, according to the group's website, are:

• Every person is important and unique.
• Every person deserves to be treated fairly and kindly.
• I can learn from everyone.
• I am part of this earth; I cherish it and all the life upon it.
• I learn from the world around me by using my senses, mind, and feelings.
• I am a member of the world community, which depends on the cooperation of all people for peace and justice.
• I can learn from the past to build for the future.
• I am free to question.
• I am free to choose what I believe.
• I accept responsibility for my choices and actions.
• I strive to live my values.

Jones said he's been attending the Ethical Society for about three years, that he's volunteered to teach classes on various topics over the years, and that the lessons often teach him things as well. He and other parents also participate in monthly parenting talks dealing with topics such as sex education — how to talk to their kids; the parents themselves obviously already have the details worked out — gender expression, consent, free-range parenting and other topics.

"We hope that kids and families can find the friendships and encouragement here at the Ethical Society that all of us need," Valenti said.

Learn more about the Ethical Society of St. Louis here.

Photos by J. Ryne Danielson/Patch