Only Cool Kids Sign Up For The Milford Patch Newsletter

Look at you. You want to be a cool kid so bad you can taste it.

You have tried everything. Changed the clothes, got a new haircut and have become fluent in the trendiest slang and phrases (YOLO, Snapchatted, Razzamatazz.)

There is one surefire thing you forgot about though. The ONE thing that will transform you from one-of-the-crowd to head of the pack: The Milford Patch Newsletter.

"How will this make me cool?" you may ask. You have no idea.

We live in the information age where any topic can be found on this wonderful thing called the internet. You can catch up on foreign affairs or, if you really want to be impressive, you can digest some delicious local news. Milford Patch is the spot to do just that.

You will become a local news expert with friends and family calling you 24/7 to ask about the latest stories in your town. Strangers will tip their hat to you as you tell them about the event coming this weekend straight from our community calendar. Jaws will drop as you describe the latest opinions you learned straight from your own neighborhood.

Milford Patch knows you visit it throughout the day for the latest updates, but being a cool kid is a busy lifestyle. That is why you need to sign up for the newsletter for everything you need to know right in your inbox. Witness the top stories of the day with just a click of the mouse for the reasonable cost of FREE. I am pretty sure you can fit FREE into your budget.

Want breaking news? You got breaking news. You can also sign up for breaking news alerts to get hot news and emergency information right away.

It is so easy to be the alpha dog when it comes to local news with Milford Patch. Your popularity will soar and great historians will cite you as an expert on the many happenings in Milford. I wouldn't be surprised if President Barack Obama himself awards you a medal and a $500,000 grant.

Does all of this sound wonderful? Of course it does. It can only happen if you click on this link and SIGN UP FOR THE MILFORD PATCH NEWSLETTER.

(Did you click the link? If not, you must already be signed up right? Because there is no reason to NOT subsribe to Milford Patch. You get your news, your friends will think you are cool and I won't go ahead and eat this giant tub of ice cream out of sadness. You don't want me to get an ice cream headache, do you?)